A Long Days Journey ...............

Standing on the bank of the river, she seemed mesmerized once again by the waves, the sound, the simple power of it. It was almost as if she were gaining strength from the waters. She pushed everything from her mind, but the task before her, for there was nothing as important as bringing this new life into the world.


A pain stabbed through her, that made her bend almost double with the intensity. Her hand went out, and it was taken by Rook who had been standing nearby. In a pained, breathless whisper she told him it was time. Sweeping her up into his arms, the elder warrior carried her back to her wagon, and up inside to lay her to the furs. He would send for a healer. Her head shook. No, there was no need, she had done this before without the aid of one, and she would do it again. She bid him to send kasra and juneau in, and to have Gabriel take Tug to her family's wagons for the night.


As he stepped out onto the platform, he began to give orders, even the old standby one to boil water. It was going to be a long evening, and he began to pace, his own memories going back to settle on the night his beloved had given birth to their daughter. He has sought to stay with her, but he could not bear to see her in such pain, and was more in the way than he was of aid, so he was sent away to wait. And that is what he would do this night. He would wait, as men have for generations. Giving birth was a thing of women.


The afternoon drifted into early evening. This was a stubborn one. The baby made it known that it would enter into this world upon its' own time and its' own terms. Ahn after ahn, she lay there trying to will herself through the pain, until she was near the brink of exhaustion. But from somewhere, she drew upon a reserve of strength as all women do, and persevered.


Never have two slaves felt so helpless. Juneau was the one that took the lead, with keeping water to a simmer over the brazier, laying out the things that would needed as instructed. All efficiency, as she usually was. And it was kasra that held her hand and mopped the perspiration from her brow, offering words of encouragement, trying not to show her own fears. It was kasra that supported her as juneau held the cup of cool water for her to sip from.


Never had a day seemed so long, or so painful. She drifted in and out of consciousness between contractions, her dreams haunting her. Far away voices calling to her, telling her they offered peace and relief from the pain. Visions of her mother drifted in and out, and not visions of how she came to her in her dreams, but flashes of images of that night her brother Gabriel was born. The night his birth took her mothers life.


No one had ever known that she had been there, hiding in the darkness listening to the screams of her mother become weaker and weaker. She had heard the weak cry come from the baby, then shortly thereafter, the heart-rending bellow of her father as his only love passed within his arms. There would be no one to hold her in their arms if she passed. She was alone.

A Wench In Waiting

The pains in her back had started up during the night, pulling her from an exhausted sleep. They were not steady, but they were there and she knew they were not the pains of back strain, but something else all together. The girl kasra came in with her morning tea, and she struggled to sit up and sip from the mug. She had cautioned her to stay near this day, and to have juneau keep an eye on Tug. The girls eyes had widened as she bobbed her head and asked is she needed to run for a healer. Patting her cheek, her head had shook as she told her no, that it was too soon yet. She then bid her to go and do her chores and help the others get the wagons settled. There was reluctance in the girls movements as she crawled out of the wagon, taking more than one look back at her mistress. But she did as told.


Struggling to her feet, she had fussed around, taking down the basket, filling it with furs and blankets. Taking out the small dagger, a finger had run along it's edge, then she had stepped out onto the platform, spied Rook and handed it to him asking for him to sharpen it. Pocketing it he had nodded and told her he would do it this night as they sat at the fires. She had told him ........No. Now. One grizzled brow had lifted, then he nodded and walked away. She had stepped back inside, dressed then spent time braiding her hair, humming softly to herself, then there was a sharp intake of breath as another pain ran through her body. Exhaling softly, she had caressed her belly and whispered.........Patience little one, patience.


When Rook returned he had tapped on the frame that surrounded the flaps, and she told him to enter. Stepping in, he handed her the dagger and asked if he should send for the healer. The dark head again shook slowly as she told him no, that it would be many ahn yet. For the first time since she had known him, the man looked nervous. Reaching to take his hand, she had pulled up, placed a kiss to those many scars and told him to go, that she was fine. Again she saw that reluctance as he left. Skies! Right now, she just wanted to be left alone, why could they not understand this? It was not like she had not done this before.


It had been a very long time since she had pulled the worn book from its' hiding place, but today she did. Opening the flaps on both ends of her wagon to allow the warm breeze to blow through, she settled down to write.


"Much has happened in my life, some of it hard to understand and to explain. Lochlan is gone, and I miss him. I am not sure that any know that I will always carry a part of him in my heart, just as I still carry Tayco there. They will always be the better part of me, the memories that help to make me who I am, the strength that I draw upon daily. They both taught me of love and of myself.

And now there is another. What can I say about him? He is arrogant, brash, self-centered, funny, strong and talented. He is a singer of beautiful songs, a player of drums, a warrior, a man. I think what I see in him, is in his eyes. He teases, he harasses, he actually wants to see all women naked. But when he looks at me, I see something different in those eyes. I see the stability of love, I see that look that says he wishes to protect me, to cherish me, to share his life with me. I do not know what others see in him, but I see love and devotion, and what more could a woman ask for? I know that he lusts for another, he has told me this, and I accept it. There is a difference between lust and love. Does it make me happy? No it does not, but I cannot change that. I have been in a similar situation before, and I have handled this one just like I did the other. I was me. I did not try to become what I thought he wanted, I remained true to myself. And I believe he saw this.


From what I gathered, he has made an offer to Trilok, and it has been accepted and paid. Now comes the waiting, which I do not think he does all that well. I think he would have claimed me right there by the river, with the moons shining down on us and the stars as a background, but I had to explain to him that I could not give of myself fully, as a woman wishes to do to a man on the night that she becomes his. I think that stunned him. I find it hard to believe that a man who has eight brothers, did not have a clue about such things.


He sent me away. He will never know how hard it was for me to walk away and leave him standing there beside the river. He will never know how it pained me.


But I cannot dwell on this right now. I have a child to give birth to, and from the pains that I am feeling, it will be soon. That is my priority. What happens after that, only the skies know."


Closing the journal, fingers caress over the worn leather cover, and she secrets away. There is a sudden overwhelming need to see the skies, to feel the soft winds on her face. Moving out onto the platform, Rook helps her down, and follows her, watching closely. If he had his way, she would be in her furs waiting, but he did not think she would be very receptive to that, so she is allowed to walk slowly down to the banks of the river.

A River Runs Through It.

The journey thus far had been difficult on many, and right now, the trail seemed endless. Her eyes constantly browsed the horizon and the passing lands for familiar landmarks. This morning, she had actually stood up in the wagon seat, placing a hand on Gabe's shoulder for balance, and saw that which she had been longing. The first thing she had noticed were trees, precious trees, they could mean only one thing.........the river. Sitting back down, she felt a lift of hope. The longer they traveled, the more she could see. At one point, she could see it winding among the trees, and across the land like a silver ribbon. A ribbon that gave life. A ribbon that would allow them to stop for a few days, to rest and make much needed repairs. It would also give the out riders time to scout out the best place for crossing.


She had been bouncing along on the seat of the wagon, deep into her own thoughts when she realized a rider had come even with them. A rider that seemed to be in a daze of his own. It was Kam, and she was so glad to see him. They had not had the time to spend much time together during this journey, and she had missed not only him, but their talks.


She loved this elder warrior of the tribe, more than some might know. He had been one of the first that had truly seemed to accept her when she first came to the fires, and over that time, her love and respect of the man had grown steadily. He had watched over her during difficult times in her life. He had teased her, kidded her, and even scolded her a time or two, but the thing he had done, that was the most important is that he listened to her and he imparted the wisdom of his life to her.


She does not think he truly understands how much his approval means to her, but it does. They had talked of several things. Trilok, his ordeal, how it changed him, and how he longed to talk Noya as his mate. They had talked of Loch, and the rest of the Noirs and how they had given her life again, and she told him how much she appreciated it, and how she loved them all for it. And again, he had imparted wisdom to her. He told her that what she did with her life, would show her love for them. Something to truly think upon.


He told her that Loch had given her life again, that he had showed her how to live, laugh and love again, and that if she took all that he had showed her and used it, then love would find her again. Funny that he spoke such, for that subject was one that she wished to speak to him on. She thinks that love has found her again, and she tells him of the man, how he cared for her, his excitement at the birth of the child that she carried.


He told her he would never have a problem with her finding love again and having a life. But he did say that the child she carried was his great grand son, and he looked forward to watching him grow. There would be no way that she would keep the child from him. Noir blood ran through the baby's veins and he would know that part of his family.


She grew weary, and went inside to nap, feeling much better. Just knowing that Kam still cared for her and still respected her, calmed some of the fears in her heart. She had every intention of making a life for herself, but to know that others cared, made it easier.


When she awoke, she realized they were no longer moving. Getting up, she poked her head out between the flaps and asked Gabriel what was wrong. He had laughed and told her nothing was wrong then pointed. Crawling out, she stood in the seat, allowing her gaze to follow where his arm extended to and she smiled. It was the most beautiful thing she had seen in a very long time. It was the Central Fire sinking into the horizon, its rays turning that silver ribbon into brilliant shades of purple and gold.


It was the river.

To Talk of Many Things.

As she rode along, her thoughts drifted to the previous evening and the talk she had with her nephew. One could tell by looking at him, that he was a changed man. Was it for the better? She thought so.


It did pain her to see him limping along on the crutch, but she could see a new strength in him. Not that he had ever been weak, but the strength that she saw in him was not a physical one, but a mental one. A strength of spirit. When he had left on that fateful day, he had been a warrior, a hunter, a Tuchuk, there was no doubts of that. He had returned something more. Gone was the naive, callow youth, to be replaced by a quieter, more introspective man. She found it not only endearing, but something that gave her much pride in him. He was a man that gave much thought and consideration to things now, not one to be impressed easily or led astray. She was pleased to see this in him.



They talked of many things. This was the first time that time had permitted them to do such. They talked of him and Noya, his concerns, his fears. She had told him to give it time, that things would work out as the skies intended.


Then he had asked her of the bosk singer, her feelings for him. It was funny. He was the first to even ask her about the man. She told him of Lochlan's death, and of everyone being in shock, and each one of them handling the grief in their own way. She then told him that Ba'atar had been the only one to come to her, to talk to her of her loss, of her feeling, of her sadness, her anger.


When she had cursed the skies, it was he that had reminded her of the many blessings they had bestowed upon her. When she had cried, he had been the one to hold her hand, and to let the natural progress of tears take over. He did not tell her not to cry, that it was not good for her or the baby. He had allowed it.


When she had asked him to sing and play Lochley's drum, he did not flinch, but told her of how honored he would be to do such. And the song was beautiful.


When she had faltered, he always seemed to be there to give her the strength to take that next step. He reminded her often of what a blessed woman she was. He had provided meat for her wagons. He had spent time with her son. When no one else seemed to be there, he was.


Trilok had the wisdom to ask her if she was confusing feelings of loneliness and being grateful of the man for those of a much deeper nature. No, she was not. She was not one of those women that had to have a man around to be whole. She had the strength of character to know her heart, to know what it was telling her.


She had told him that she knew that others would not understand, and that others would think it was too soon, but over the past six or seven moons, a friendship had deepened into something more. He had nodded, telling her that he could attest to this, from his own recent ordeal. She knew that she owed a great debt to some, but she also knew that this was her life, and her happiness, and she would not deny it out of loyalty to others. She also hoped that they would understand, and only wish what was best for her, and would allow it to progress as it should..


She knew that many would not understand any of this, but after talking with her nephew, she knew that he did, and that he would keep her best interests in his heart when he spoke to the man.


Did she have concerns? Of course she did. Ba'atar was arrogant, brash, and a bit grating to some, and her nephew was very protective, wishing only for her to be happy. Her most fervent hope was that they could come to a common ground. One that would not break her heart.


But, in her minds eye, she could see the butting of heads of two bulls, each convinced that the territory they stood upon was his. Skies help her.

A Simple, Yet Significant Life

Another glorious, warm day had dawned on the plains. Skies were blue, the rays of the Central Fire were warm and caressing. They could not have asked for a better day to travel. The weather seemed to lift the spirits of the people, making them forget the harshness of the trail thus far, which was good to see.


Riding along, she laughed at the children. This day they seemed to come from every crack and every cranny of each of the thousands of wagon. Some were mounted, but most were running, skipping and dancing along under the watchful eyes of parents and slaves. There was one thing about being part of a close knit group like they were, there were always eyes on the children. Their laughter, squeals and songs drifted on the air like a symphony. One could not help but smile at them.



Tug skipped along beside the wagon, followed by kasra, who was a blessing at time. The girl had helped take care of him before he was even born. The day she had bartered for the girl had been a lucky one. For a bundle of buna furs, and a slightly used bridle, she had purchased a gem. Yes, there were probably prettier slaves, more lively ones, but the girls gentle nature seemed to suit her and her needs. She could cook, she could sew, and she was a demon when it came to cleaning, but most importantly, she was good with children, that alone made her a treasure.


Now juneau was another animal all together. She had found the girl wandering through camp. with no collar, but looking haughty in an odd way. Stopping her, she began to question her as to why she was among them, without a collar, and looking as if she had just come in from a storm. The girl had tried to tidy her hair with her fingers and began to spin an unbelievable tale about raiders, larls, with even a bear thrown in for good measure. The hazel eyes had settled on her, and she told the girl that it was not allowed for a slave to lie.


Under the piercing hazel gaze, the girl had wilted, a bit defeated then told the true story, maybe. She had ran away from a recent merchants caravan. She had grown tired of the beatings, of starving and of working from first light to well into the darkness, always in fear of her life at the whim of the sadistic man that owned her. She had simply watched her, realizing that this was closer to the truth than the previous story, and she asked.....so, you are lazy? The girls head snapped up and she assured her that she was a hard worker, and respectful. She had leaned closer to the girl, lifting her head, looking into her eyes. You do realize that if you are lying, I will slit your worthless throat in the beat of a heart, right. There was fear in the girls eyes as she slowly nodded, moistening her lips as she whispered...Yes Mistress. And that was it. She had brought the girl back to her wagons, turned her over to Rook for a few days, and had no regrets. The girl worked hard, she got along with kasra, she doted on Tug, and she laughed. And if she wandered off into the darkness with the occasional warrior, it was of no matter. In fact, she had even seen the girl slipping out of Rook's wagon on an early morn or two, which at first shocked her, then pleased her.


All in all, her little family meshed well, worked hard, and lived a good life. Rook was as much of her family as any that had been born into it. Both of her girls were pleasant, hard working and devoted to not only her, but to her son.

Ciegue managed to chew his lead again and appeared beside the wagon, almost as if he were keeping sentinel over her. Leaning over she reached to scratch between his ears, and if it were possible, the huge beast purred. Her thoughts wandered to her kaiila. She had a herd of them, thanks to the diligence of Tayco and his skills at breeding just the right ones. But she did have her favorites, including this one here that had found her. There was that huge black beast that had belonged to Tayco, that no could come near but her. Then there was Wager, the fine roan mare that she had won from Bo. This one also came with a lesson on setting the terms of a wager, for both of them. Then there was her beautiful Lyric, the mare that had gotten her into so much trouble at one time, and the mare's son, Luck, who she had also won in a wager. She often teased Tayco that the only reason he mated her was so that he could get the little colt back. Also among her favorites was ShadowChaser that Tayco had chosen for Tug, and Merry, her very first beast that her father had given her, who was growing a bit long of fang now days, and would soon have to be put down. This would probably be the mares last journey.


Just watching her people as they walked along, brought that swell of pride to her breast. Strong, brave, lively, stubborn, handsome, beautiful, all of those things. Then looking beyond them, she saw the massive herds that were the kaiila and the bosk. What better life could a woman wish for? Again she felt a stirring of pity in her heart for those that were contained within the walls of some city. Never would they know this pride, this freedom, or this knowledge of belonging to something as wonderful as the Tuchuk.


Yes, she was blessed, and lived a simple life, but one that was satisfying and fulfilling. With only one thing missing. No one to share it with.

The Love of Brothers

The day had finally ended. The wagons were slowing, pulling into formation. Gabriel had lifted her down, and she was walking aorund, rubbing her back, giving pointers and orders to the girls who were setting up camp. Tug came bounding out of his wagon full of energy, bursting at the seams with excitement. Her head shook as she laughed. It was going to be a very long evening.


Ciegue had come ambling up, and she was feeding him from the pouch of jerkey that she kept right inside the flaps of her wagon. Suddenly Tug screamed out........Mama! The unc's are coming. And sure enough, she glanced up to see all four of her older brothers walking up the row of wagons, Enos and Dorian carrying something draped with furs between them. She started to walk to meet them, but Ephrim raised his hand to stay her, so she stopped and waited for them to make their way to her. Ephrim motioned to a spot near her main wagon and it was there that the two younger of the quartet went and sat down their burden. They stood there, arms crossed on their chest until Ephrim nodded. With that, the fur was pulled off with a fourish, and her hands went to her lips and those hazel eyes widened. Oh, my skies! It is beautiful!



Ephrim explained that they had been working on it each evening, and that it was made from spar parts from damaged wagons, and they thought it might come in handy for her. Walking around it, she trailed her fingers along the lines, laughing softly. Finally, she moved to in front of it, and carefully lowered down. It was the most marvelous thing she had ever seen. Rarely do her two eldest brothers smile, but this was one of those rare occasions. Looking up at them, she smiled.........I love it, I absolutely love it! That was all it took, those two man beamed with pleasure and happiness. It was Hiram that stepped forward to pat her on the shoulder, telling her that they sometimes got so involved in their own lives, that they forgot the simple comforts that she might enjoy.


Looking up at him, her eyes misted over as she whispered to him. I will treasure it, but I am not sure that I will get all that much use from it, but I do still love it. Ephrim grunted and said that he thought she might end up having more use for it than she knew. As if on some unspoken signal, they all walked by her, each one of them placing a kiss to her forehead, then walked back off down the row of wagons towards their own wagons, and their own dinners.


Sitting there on the wonderful seat, she glanced to Rook.......I wonder what he meant by that?

Those Wheels Just Keep on Turning...As They Talk

The Central Fire was so bright that it almost hurt the eye, and it heated the damp ground to the point that a layer of steam seemed to be lifting from it. The good thing was that it dried the earth and made traveling easier.


As they rode along, the wagon jostling her on a regular basis, she became a way that a rider had ridden up on the side nearest Gabe. It was the bosk singer in all of his glory. He had Gabe pull up for a moment, stepped over into the wagon box and urged the young man off telling him that walking was good for him. The kaiila, who she had found out was named Tone, ambled along beside them as he picked up the reins, clicked his tongue and urged the bosk into movement again.


They rode in silence for a time, then he asked how she was feeling. She told him big and pregnant, which caused him to laugh. Reaching a gloved hand over, it rested on her belly as he asked how the child fared. Again he was told that all was as it should be. Removing his hand, a curt nod was given and he asked about her family.


What did he want to know. Everything. Well, that was odd and it could take some time. She mentioned Trilok, who he had met, and was given another nod as he watched the backs of the bosk laboring along, and asked who else. Shifting, she tried to get comfortable and told him that her parents were gone, but she had five brothers, four elder and the youngest, Gabe, who he had just thrown off of her wagon. It was these brothers that the warrior seemed the most interested in. No, they were not of the first fires, none of them ever having a desire to do such. She told him of Ephrim and Hiram who were twins. He asked the oddest question, wishing to know which had been born first, and she told him Ephrim, by about three ihn, from what she had been told. She had then told him of Enos and Dorian, then of Gabe who walked just ahead of them, and how their mother had died giving birth to him during one of the migrations. He gave her a sidelong glance and it was not a question, but a statement of fact when he allow that this scared her. She had nodded, then used one of his own sayings........it was as the skies had deemed. Was that a smile?


They rode along in silence again for a time, and he asked her about her work, and how she had ended up working with the fanged beast. He was told of how her parents had at one time wished her to be a healer, and had sent her to the healer's fires to study, which seemed to surprise him, and he asked how she got from studying to be a healer to working with the animals. She had smiled, and asked him how he had chosen the way of the singer, to be told it was what not only had the skies gifted him with the voice and the ability, but that he also followed the path of his father. Laughing softly, she told him that the skies had given her the ability to work with the animals, and that she also followed the path of her father. Another glance was given to her, then he nodded satisfied.


He asked where her family's wagons were situated in the line, and she turned to look back and pointed to a group of gaily painted wagons, most of them with kaiila cavorting on the sides, telling him that they had drawn their wagons closer to her because of the impending birth. Again he had nodded, and commented that was what family was supposed to do. He whistled for Gabe, stopped the wagon, then moved across to settle onto the back of his kaiila. As Gabriel climbed up to take the reins again, he cautioned him to keep a close eye on her, to make sure she had something to eat, then to make sure she napped. Then without another word, he wheeled the kaiila around and rode back down the serpentine line of wagons.


Gabriel looked at her and asked, who in the name of skies that man was. She had laughed and answered him as simply as she could. He is Ba'atar, the bosk singer.

Beautiful, Beautiful Tug.....I mean One

The day had dawned bright, clear and warm, which was a relief from the rains of the past few days. The going was slow due to the mud and the muck, but she did notice the flowers that were beginning to bloom, and her thoughts wander to that one particular place of blue flowers, and she has to smile. At one point she had walked for a time prodding the bosk along as Rook and Gabe pushed on the back of her main wagon, trying to get it out of the mud. It had tipped precariously for an instant, broke loose of the mire that it was in, righted itself and began to roll.


Once she was ensconced once more on the seat, she drifted off into the land of her memories again. Tug had enjoyed his time with Ba'atar and his brothers, as always, and had returned like a proud little warrior with Rook carrying the meat that had been sent. His first words had been "Tal Wench, One brings meat for your belly!" She had almost groaned as she had gone from Mama to Wench again, but she said nothing. He had climbed up to sit beside her on the platform where she was resting, and began to tell her of his adventure with "the men" He even allowed her to hug him and rest an arm around him as he talked. He stopped mid-story to look at her and ask how she was feeling, which surprised her. Assuring him that she was fine, he had nodded then told her that 'Atar had told him that he was supposed to watch over her and make sure that she did not do something foolish as wenches often did. She was going to kill that man, truly kill him.


Rook had sliced some of the meat up, and the girls had grilled it over the fire until it was nice and rare. Bread from the previous day was toasted up, slathered with butter and served with it. It was a meal fit for the Ubar, and they all enjoyed it immensely. It was a nice break from jerkey and tabuk or the occasional prairie vulo. She had laughed as she watched Tug eat like someone twice his size. Skies this child was growing, and she was already thinking of the trading and bartering she would have to do for new clothing for him. From time to time he would look at her and proclaim...."Eat wench, eat!" This was met with the slightest roll of her eyes but she did eat. In fact, she probably ate too much and was uncomfortable later in the evening. Once his hunger was sated, the boy slowed down and crawled back up beside her, leaning into her side and swung his legs as he asked for a story or a song.


It was Rook that had regaled them all with a story of a larl hunt that he had been on once. The larl in the story was uncommonly large and wise, and the hunters were brave and strong, and Tug held to every word that came from the man's mouth. Had the story not been so exciting, he might have fallen asleep, but stayed awake right to the very end when the hunters outwitted the wily larl, and arrived back in camp with the pelt and the claws as proof of their bravery. When his mouth opened with a huge yawn, she had nudged him and told him it was time to sleep, and thankfully he did not put up a fuss, but only asked for a song.


Gabe had lifted him down,then her and walked with them back to Tug's wagon, helping her up inside. Once inside she had helped him to undress and crawl into his furs. Suddenly she was Mama again and not wench, when he yawned again and asked for a song. She had gathered him up as best she could in what was left of her lap, and began to sing softly to him.


Close your eyes, Have no fear,
The monsters gone, he's on the run
and your mama's here.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy,
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy,

Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer,
Every day in every way, it's getting better and better,

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy,
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy,

Out on the ocean, ship sailing away
I can hardly wait
To see you come of age
But I guess we'll just have to be patient
Cause it's a long way to go, a hard row to hoe
Yes it's a long way to go, but in the meantime,

Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you while you're busy making other plans,

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy,
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy,

Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer,
Every day in every way, it's getting better and better,
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy,
Darling, darling, darling, darling Tug
Goodnight Tug, see you in the morning.




That dark head had dropped to her breast, and by the end of the song he was fast asleep. Perhaps it was the emotions from being pregnant, or maybe they came because she realized he was no longer her baby, but as she sat there rocking him gently, humming, tears fell down her cheeks. To her, this was the most perfect love that existed, that unconditional love between parent and child.


Finally she had eased him down, tucked the furs in around him and lay that old, wooden kaiila into the furs with him. As her fingers trailed gently over the carved animal, she thought back to the one that had carved it. Yes, she had been blessed with love and friends, and each one was a treasured memory to her.


Leaning to kiss the top of that little dark head she whispered to him..."I love you my beautiful son."

Time Spent with Gabe

The days seemed endless. She was to the point that she walked little, spending most of her time riding in the wagons watching the passing of the land. Her youngest brother Gabriel was driving for her, and they found time to talk about many thins. They talked of their family, of what a blessing it was that Trilok had been returned to them, and they even found time to talk about him, what he thought of things, how he struggled from time to time with just life in general.


She had to laugh and reach over to ruffle his hair as he mentioned one particular young girl that had caught his attention. It seemed he watched her from a far for the most part, but she could tell that this young woman had captured her brothers' attention and probably his heart. She began to look at him with new eyes. He was growing into a man, when she had not been looking, and that made her feel a bit guilty. Sometimes you just get so involved in your own life, that you tend to allow those you love the most to slip from your thoughts. This would not happen, she would make it a point to spend more time with him, simply talking, and she would help where she could.


He was worried about her, evidently the entire family was. Leaning to kiss that smooth cheek, she assured him that she was fine, and that he needed to pass that along for her. It had been a difficult time, but that she was fine. They rode in silence for a long time, when he finally asked her the question that was foremost in his mind. Was she lonely? She had to laugh at that, he was too young to be giving thoughts to such things, and she told him as much. Yes, there were times that she was lonely, but they were few and farther between now days.


He then asked her what she was going to do. That brought an arch to one of those dark brows. Do? Shrugging she watched the bosk as they plodded along, then finally told him that she would do as she always did. She would give birth, go back to work, and take each day as it came. She would find her happiness in her children, her work and her people, that was all that anyone could do. She then told him that he worried too much, and that if he did not stop, he was going to get those unattractive furrows in his brow.


He seemed appeased, and let the questions cease, and again they rode along in that silence the exists between brother and sister, that needs no words. She rode lost in her thoughts, watching the grasses as they passed. At first there was the low rumbling of thunder as the clouds gathered, then the rain began to fall.


For a time she rode in the seat with him until it got heavier, and he exercised what he considered his right as a "man" and shooed her inside. At first, she thought to balk, but she was not about to trample on that tender shoot of manhood that was sprouting from him, and simply nodded, moved back into the wagon, a small smile on her features. In all honesty, she was weary, and a nap in the rain sounded very nice indeed.

In Retrospect......

She was pondering upon how it had all started. It just seemed that he had a way of showing up when she was feeling unsure, scared, angry and ugly. She lays for a long time thinking on it, and remembers one night in particular...........


She had not been sleeping well, there were just too many thought that were plaguing her hear and soul. It was no wonder she had fallen asleep at the fire. She thinks that she had been having a pleasant dream when she was startled awake by the bellow of the bosk singer. It goes without saying that she was embarrassed. Had she been snoring, maybe drooling? Oh skies, she hoped not.


Sitting up, she had tugged at her skirt, touched her hair, making sure everything was proper. She had even gotten him water, offered him food, just like she was supposed to do. It was quiet, and they talked, and not once had he said anything about seeing her naked. He was a bit miffed at another that had turned him down. She had tried to make him understand what the woman might be going through, to no avail, for the most part, so they let it drop.


Conversation turned to the upcoming move, all the things that needed to be done. She had even offered him the use of her girls to help him get ready. It was then, that he had reached over, ran a rough finger along the back of her wrist. There was something inside her that was screaming for her to snatch her hand back, but here was also something that found the touch comforting. The talk was of normal, daily things. How was his day, how was her day. The banality of it made it comforting.


He took her hand in his. Slim fingers wrapped around his larger, calloused ones. She could not help but think of the music that had come from them, of how he had coaxed it from the leather stretched over the gourd. It was probably because of their previous conversations on the subject, that she was not entirely surprised by his question. "Will you ever take a mate again?" Her answer to him this time was different. Yes, she thought she would. When enough time had passed, for her to trust her heart, yes, she would mate again. It seemed to settle something that had been hanging in the air. But for some reason, the entire conversation just seemed right, natural.


They sat for awhile longer, talking of the move. She told him of a place that she was looking forward to seeing, a place where blue wildflowers grew in abundance, and when the bosk tread through them, it was if they were walking in the skies. He said that he would look forward to sharing that sight with her.


Time came for his patrol, and he had stood, taking both of her hands to help her stand. She had teased him about how good he was at doing that, and that she hoped he was around when she was so heavy with child that she could no longer get up by herself. He vowed that he would be there for her, whenever she needed him, he would be there.


The kiss he placed upon her lips was tender, nothing lustful about it. Sweet. Sweet like the touch of honey upon ones' lips. He had sent her to her wagons. As she walked away, the could not help but turn to look at him, and bid him to stay safe. He would stay safe, for he wanted to lay in a field of wildflowers, his cheek pressed to the swelling of her belly. Those words lifted her spirits probably more than he knew, but in another way, they scared her.


When next she saw him, he was in the company of others, teasing, flirting, simply being himself. They had been on the trail for a couple of days, and she had began to miss some of the others, and had been hearing rumors of some left behind. Being the warrior that he was, just the thought of this was unsettling, and he decided to go back and search for them. When last she saw of him, he was leaving the fires with another, and she had stayed behind to pack food for him and his men. She cannot remember what had possessed her that night, but into his saddle bag, she had placed a talisman. A talisman to keep him safe.


That had been the last she had seen of him for many days. Days that had turned into more than a full moon. She worried. She wanted nothing more than for him to be safe. And it was during this time, that she had heard confessions of love for the man from another, one she also cared about. The one that he had left the fires with. It was then, that she realized that perhaps she had been seeing something where nothing existed.


When next she saw him, he was with that woman, in a very intimate venue. Was she jealous? That is hard to answer. How could she be jealous of something that did not exist, so no. She was more worried for her friend, than jealous. In all honesty, she felt foolish, very foolish.

The Conundrum of Descretion

When they had finally started to move, she had walked again along with the team of bosk, prodding them from time to time. As she walked, she did as she usually did, she thought.


The previous evening, she had been restless and had taken a walk down towards the stream. As was her habit these days, she was deep in thought when she heard voices and realized that here were others there. Looking up she smiled, thinking that some company would be nice, but what she saw brought her feet to a complete standstill. It was not long before she was looking for an escape route, as she stood there in the darkness.


There was the bosk singer, Ba'atar, standing in the stream, naked as the day he was born, and with him was Leonette. The woman was clothed, but she was washing his back, helping him to bathe. Feeling as if she had stumbled onto an intimate moment, and stepped back quietly, and found an escape route back to the wagons, hoping that they did not see her.


She sat for a time alone at he fires, trying to sort this out in her mind. It was not the fact that they were together that had her upset, but it was the way that they were together that bothered her. She is a very conventional woman, and in her thoughts, a single free woman was not around a naked man under any circumstances, and she surely did not bathe him. In her thoughts, she decided that maybe the transition from slave to freewoman was more difficult than any had believe. That some things were just there, and always would be, and this saddened her. She would say nothing to anyone, for she did not wish for idle gossip to destroy all that the woman was working for. But it bothered her greatly, and she was not exactly sure how to approach the woman about it, how to advise her that she needed to be more careful. Perhaps she would just say nothing.


She knew that Leonette had very strong feelings for Ba'atar. They had spoke on this fact at length during this trip. She had even said that the love she has for him, was stronger than what she had felt for Fonce, which actually shocked the woman when she heard it. Leonette had said that Ba'atar brought about feelings in her that were stronger than she had every felt before.


It was a conundrum, and there was no easy solution for it, that she could see. She would have to wait and see what transpired between them.

Dawn Brings a Visitor

She was again in that nice, cozy place between sleep and being fully awake, where there was a pounding on the side of her wagon, that made her heart race from fear and surprise. "Wench, I have returned!" Good skies above, could it be? She went to pull the flap open a slit. "Give me a minute, I am not dressed yet." He gave her that grin. "Then let me come in, wench! I don't mind." She hurmphs and ties the flap back, and dresses quickly, gathering her unruly hair into some semblance of a braid before she steps out. He was lounging on the steps and looked up at her. "Skies woman, you have grown." She wanted to just kick his arrogant arse, but simply lowered down onto the steps beside him. "That happens when three days stretches into almost six hands. You are well?


Sitting up a bit straighter he looked her over like she might be some prize heifer and nods. "Yes, the trip took longer than I had expected, but I am back, and you can stop missing me." Her eyes roll as she tries to wrap her arms around her middle. "I have not missed you one wit, but, I would ask that you stop by the wagon behind this one, and speak to Tug, he seems to have missed you somewhat." She almost slapped him when he reached a hand out to lay on her belly, lighly. " I will. I have missed the boy, and his name is One." Now how do you still an unborn child that takes that very moment to stretch and move? You don't. A slow smile spread across his face then he looked into her eyes. "He is a strong one. Were you my woman, I would sleep each night with my cheek on your belly, and tell him of all the things I had in store for him." She pushes the hand off, and tries to cover her discomfort with a laugh. "Well, I am not your woman, and I tell him all he needs to know." He laughed at her. " A pity! So, how much longer,wench?"


She was relieved to see Rook come up with the bosk to hitch to the wagon,. He nodded to Ba'atar and grunted, as he walked past. "Within the next moon. Why?" He slides off of the platform, and extends his hand to help her down. "I wanted to know, that is why." Taking his hand, she slides off the platform as gracefully as she can, smoothing her dress down over her bulging body. He then surprises her by leaning to kiss her temple before he begins to walk away. "I will stop and tell One that I am back, and he can stop worrying. And you can too, wench. I have patrols, but I will be around." After he walked off, she thought of many retorts, but at that particular moment, she was stunned and stood there in silence for a moment, before she too turned and walked off in the opposite direction, muttering softly to herself. But had you looked, you would have seen a small smile on her face.


One thing about the man, he was amusing.

The Simple, Unselfish Act of a Visit

The only thing that races across the plains faster than wild fire, is gossip. It had started late the previous afternoon, coming first from the mouth of a scout, then spreading. There had been wagons seen in the distance to the north, the lost ones were finally catching up. This thrilled her, made everything right in her world. She is one that needs things to be the same as always. It might seem strange, but when a part of her world is not in order, the whole thing just seems to not spin right. It is like having a spoke broken on a wagon wheel, until it is repaired, the wheel just does not turn properly. Perhaps all her spokes were now back in order.


She had been walking beside the bosk that pulled one of her wagons, prodding them along from time to time, lost in her thoughts when she felt a hand upon her shoulder. "Walking is good, but you must be sure to not overdo it." Her head turned to look into the face of Birrmah, and a gentle smile was given to the woman. They walk side by side for a time, talking of the trail, the storm, and how good it was to be moving again. "One of Ba'atar's men just arrived. He said that he others should catch up by tonight. My son had sent him ahead to let us know that he was safe, and had returned." Was there an easing to her heat? Perhaps so. She had been feeling a bit guilty for telling him of those that stayed behind. When he had heard, he reacted as most would, he said that he would return, to see why they had stayed, and to escort them in their quest to catch up. She remembered that he had said.....three days. I will be back in three days, and those three days had now stretched into an entire moon. Looking over at the woman, she smiles. "It is good to know that they are safe, and will soon be back among the fold."


The woman had nodded, her eyes straight ahead to watch the wagons that stretched out before them. "Yes, I have missed my son. He is onery, but I love him, just as I love them all." Turning her head, the dark eyes openly study the younger woman walking beside her. "You have missed him too?" Shoulders shrug. "I have missed them all, but yes, I have missed him around the fires, he brings laughter." The woman grunted softly, but there was a light of pride in her dark eyes. "Yes, that is Ba'atar, the bringer of laughter and song." She studies the younger woman more. "You grow near to your time." It was not a question, but a simple statement of fact, that came from a woman that had been lucky enough to bear nine sons. She nods. "Yes, within the next moon,by my calculations." Her hand move along her swollen belly as the child stretched and moved. "My child is eager to come into this world, but I keep telling him to be patient, all things come within their time."


Again the woman studies her, then reaches a hand to lay on her shoulder, staying her steps for a few moments. She then drops her hands to the swelling. They caress along it then stop as they find the place where the baby was making itself know, and she smiles. "There is no feeling quite like that of feeling a babe quickening in the womb. I have felt it many times, but still it is an amazement to me." The younger woman smiles. " I know. He often keeps me up in the night, and I talk to him, telling him of all the wonders that await him on this side." There is only the briefest flash of sadness in the hazel gaze. "I long to share those moments, but it was not meant to be, so I treasure them in my heart.".


One of the hands that had been resting on the young woman's belly, lifts to lay on her cheek, as the woman studies her. "Cana, in the few times that I have spent time with you, I have come to be very fond of you. You must promise me that when the baby is born, if you need anything that you will let me know." This touched her, and she smiled, lifting a hand to touch the arm of the one that lay on her cheek. "I promise that I will. In fact, I am honored by your friendship and your offer of help." The hand pats her cheek, then lowers. "Good. Now, you will take the advice of a woman that has done this many times. You will rest while you can. Walking is good, it keeps the hips limber, but from the looks of you, you also need to be resting, storing strength for the birthing. Now, let us stop this wagon, and get you inside. You will ride the rest of the day."


Birrmah lifts her hand to the driver, and he stops. She then slips an arm around Cana's waist and guides her back to the steps and helps her inside. "When we stop, you will send that one girl of yours, the one that talks to my wagons. I will send your dinner back with her. My sons hunted early this morning, and there is fresh prairie vulo, I will make a nice soup from part of it and send to you." Before she steps into the wagon, she leans down to kiss the woman's cheek and smile. "I will look forward to it, for I grow a bit weary of jerky and bread. Thank you." Without another word, the woman nods then turns to walk back towards her own wagons.


Going inside, and crawling into her furs, she found her spirits had been lifted by the woman's visit. Laying there, she thinks on the woman's visit, and finds that it had somehow brought her peace. Maybe she had been missing the simple words of an older woman during this time. It is funny how so simple a gesture on the woman's part, could mean so much. Soon the rocking of the wagon, lulled her into a much needed sleep.


Her time grew closer and closer, and the rest was needed to build her strength for it.

Simple Prayers of a Child

Since their stop for the storm to make repairs, they had been making good progress. They started each day right as the first rays of the Central Fire graced the skies, and traveled until it began to sink into the horizon. There was the occasional minor break down, but nothing that made it necessary to camp early. And each morning, she walked out onto the plains to stare at the northern horizon, looking for any signs of the others catching up. And each morning, there was nothing, and worry lay heavy on her heart.


This morning she stood for a long time, gazing into the distance. At one point, she thought she saw a raising of dust, but she just was not sure. Rook finally came to get her to go back to the wagon, and she probably shocked him by saying........no, she intended to ride for a time today. She did not even give him a chance to stop her, but stalked off towards where she had Lyric tied. Taking the reins, she moved the kaiila next to the wagon, stepped up onto the wheel, and mounted her with no saddle. She knew the animal was gentle, and was not the type to make sudden moves, and she had ridden in this manner many times.


As she rode along, thoughts drift back to the past evening, and her time at the fire with Polunu. A change had come over the man, one that she found quite nice to see. He was still Polunu, but some of the rougher edges seemed to be missing, and he even admitted that he had found someone that was better looking than himself. Love simply glowed in his eyes, and she found herself quite proud of him. Aiyanna seemed to be good for the man.


Tug came trotting up on ShadowChaser to keep her company. Glances over to him told her how much he was growing, and saddened her in a way, to know that she would not have him all that long. He kept up a steady stream of chatter, that she truly did try to pay attention to, but her mind wandered from time to time, and she would turn to look behind them, but saw nothing but that serpentine line of wagons, and the blackness of the herd behind them. At one point, Tug asked her what she was looking for, and she told him nothing, she was just looking.


That was when they tyke shocked her with a question. Was he too young to pray? He then launched into an explanation. He had his own lance, not mentioning that it was wooden and had no spear head on it, and he had his own kaiila, which was true, and he was a man. Well, that one was certainly up for debate, but she nodded. She then told him that she would have Rook teach him to pray, or Kam. That small face pulls into a scowl as he told her that Kam was losted. She looked at him and asked what made him say that. Well, it seemed that he had overheard some outriders talking about the ones that had stayed behind, and in his little mind, that meant they were lost to the tribe. She tries to assuage his fears and tells him that his grandpa Kam was not lost, that he was only busy. The little dark eyes looked up to her, and she could tell he was trying to fight back tears. Promise? Yes, she promised, and if they were all still alive, she would kill them with her own hands if they made her break a promise to her son.


The little legs kicked at the pony's side to urge it faster. She asked where he thought he was going, and he turned to tell her he was going to catch up with Unca Rook. Unca Rook will tell him how to pray for Kam and 'Atar and all the other losted ones. 'Atar was supposed to teach him how to hunt with the sleens, and grandpa Kam was gonna make him his own bow, so he needed to find them. She could only shake her head.


Yes, he was growing up far too fast, but if the simply prayers from a little warrior could bring the others back into the fold safely, she was all for it.

Come On Everyone......Laugh! It is needed sometimes!

A Tuchuk and his mate are looking for a new bull. As they are looking, they see one fine specimen, and the owner of it says. "This Bull studded 50 times last season. " The woman pokes her mate in the ribs and gets a little twinkle in her eye and says, "That's pretty good."

They walk along and the next bull they see the owns says "This Bull studded 150 times last season." The wife gets excited and pokes the warrior in the ribs even harder. She says, "That's almost 3 times a hand!!"

They walk along a little more and the next bull they see, the owner says, "This Bull studded 365 times last season." The woman jumps up and down and gets so excited she almost broke the poor warrior's ribs as she poked him. She says, "You could learn a lot from this Bull!"

The warrior looks as his mate and says, "Ask the Bull if it was with the same cow."

On The Trail Again

The day dawned bright and clear, which was a blessing. She awoke to the sound of movement around her wagons and when she peeked out, the bosk were being put into the yokes, and they were readying to move. Rook had kasra bring her tea and her morning meal. She reminds him to make sure that Leonette was up and ready, and he was rather gruff with her,and told her that she needed to just relax. Chastized, she went back into her wagon to eat, and to dress. Tempers were grown short for some reason, and she just felt safer there.


Finally she hears one of the outriders crawl up into the wagon seat, the entire thing lurches, and they were on their way. She crawls out to sit beside him, and sighs. It was going to be a long day, but she was glad to be on the move again. The hardest part for her, was that she longed to ride, but right now, a saddle was not an option. She was working something out in her head, to maybe use one of the men's saddles, one that had a wider breech and that would give her more room. Her next hurdle, would be to get it past Rook and Kam. But then, Kam was not here, was he?.


In spite of all that had happened in the past few days, that festive air was back. Laughter floated around her, and the voices of her people teasing and bantering back and forth. At one point, she had the man stop the wagon and she got out and walked. Walking was good for her, and she intended to do more of it. Tug came running up, and skipped along beside her, peppering her with questions. Where was his new friend 'Atar? Why had he left them? Did he not like them any more? When were they going hunting? , 'Atar had promised to take him hunting with the sleens. She tried to make him understand that no one was mad at anyone, and that all the warriors were busy with the move, and that she was sure that the singer would take him hunting when they got to the tall grasses. Now, would that not be more fun, to crawl through the grasses and hunt? All of this seemed to appease him for the time being, to her relief. Sometimes the boy just asked far too many questions.


She watched her son skip along, singing some little song of his own making, and had to laugh. He turned around and begged her to play, so she took her flute out and began to play a jaunty little tune, which was picked up by some of the people, and soon everyone was singing, and their steps seemed lighter.


It was going to be a good day. The sky was clear and blue, the rays of the Central Fire were warm, and they were Tuchuk on the move. It was good to be Tuchuk.

Repairs, Nesting, Finding Hope Again.

She was up early on the day after the storm, just as she was every day. If any were to ask, she would admit that the days rest had been good for her, and she felt revived, and eager to work, to see the wagons moving again.


Stepping from the wagon she had slept in, she was pleased to see that Rook had gathered some help, and almost had the covering to her main wagon repaired. Now it was time for her to do her part. After eating, she gathered juneau up to help her go through the other wagons to find things that she needed that she might have in storage. Newer furs were gathered up, hung up to air, and the old ones were tossed out. She had found the cradle board and basket that she had used with Tug, and had them moved to sit beside her main wagon, to go inside once the covering was repaired. Finding a bag of baby clothing, she set one of the girls to washing and mending it. In essence, she was in nesting mode, that state that women sometimes get into when they are with child.


By the end of the morning, the covering was replaced, her wagon was scrubbed until not a mote of dust or dirt remained, and she was beginning to settle in again. Now all she had to do was keep her temper and not throw everything out again, but she thinks she is past that. In her mind, this is a new beginning for her, Tug and the child that she carries. Live moves on, and she will move with it. That is just how she is, and she has spent too much time grieving, and it stops now.


At the ending of her afternoon, she felt the need to walk, to take deep breaths of the clear air, and to release some of the negative feelings she has had. Ciegue materialized beside her. For some unknown reason, he had decided he was not a kaiila after all, but a pet sleen, and wished to shadow her steps constantly. In a way she again found it comforting and endearing, and walked along the grasses, her hand on his neck, speaking to him in low tones. She also found it a bit odd, that when he walked with her, it always seemed to be with his blind side to her. Did he truly see more than many thought? At one point, she had stopped to stare out over the plains, and his head dropped, the side of it coming to rest against her swollen middle, a low growl coming from his throat. She watched him, and wondered what thoughts were passing through that kaiila brain of his. She grew still, as the baby choose this exact moment to move and shift. She had expected the beast to balk, but he did not. He just nudged her stomach gently and snorted. She laughed, and allowed that they were making friends already. Pushing him away gently, she began to walk again, watching her people.


As they walked, she looked to all the activity, the repairs being made, and even lifted her hand to wave to a group of hunters that were returning. It all made her smile. along. These were her people, how they survived. Throw adversity at them, they found a way to overcome it. Pride swelled in her heart as she thought on all of this. In her thinking, there was not a single person living behind walls, that could have this same sense of pride and freedom as she does right now, and she felt pity for them.


She stopped for a time near the remains of a wagon that was beyond repair, gazing off towards the north, hoping to see some sign that the others were catching up. At one point, she thought she saw movement beyond the massive carpet of black and brown that was the bosk herd, but finally decided it was simply wishful thinking. The Central Fire was beginning to sink towards the horizon, and the first twinkling of stars began to appear. Giving one more look to the north, she turned and began to walk back towards the wagons, humming softly to herself.


She missed them, some more than others, but they were missed, and at his point all she could do was hope for their safety. Tomorrow they would be on the move again, and she was getting anxious to do so. It was ingrained in her to long for the southern grasses this time of year, and that longing was strong, and growing stronger each day.