Finally the anger and sadness from earlier in the day had been shaken off. Quitting work at the pens early, she had spent time with the children. The grew so fast, that it always made her wonder where time went. How could they grow bigger and older, when she didn't feel she was getting older.
Liar!
She did feel older, perhaps older than her years. In a couple of moons, she would be twenty-seven, she thinks. That is not old, is it? Perhaps it is not the turnings of the seasons, or the coming of the snows that have aged her, but the experiences of her life.
There are times when she watches the younger women at the fires, with a bit of envy. Some are barely twenty, just getting their ring, just starting to think about what they wanted in life. By the time she was twenty, she had a son, and had stood beside the pyre of her mate. By the time she was twenty two, she was standing beside the pyre of another mate, carrying his child. These things do tend to make you feel older, perhaps.
And here she was, almost twenty seven, with six beautiful children that she loved dearly, and a mate that had ridden off out on the plains, many moons ago, and had not returned. He has been gone almost a whole year. She wonders if others realize that as she does? Probably not. It did not weigh on them as it did her, they had no real vested interest in it.
A new Ubar sat the grays, and very well she might add. People have come and gone, and would continue to do so. Some had returned that had been gone, and picked up the treads of their lives, as it should be. Some did not know him, or if they had, only briefly. That was just life.
She was the keeper of his memories. She was the one that tried to keep those memories alive for their children. He was missing so much. He was missing how his sons grew strong, how each of them were taking on new responsibilities, and learning from them. He had missed those first faltering steps their daughters had taken, the first words from their sweet lips.
She wishes there was some way, to capture it all, to keep it for his viewing when he returned, but there wasn't. All she could do is concentrate on each small event, commit it to her memory, to be told to him when he returned.
Yes, she was the keeper of the memories, the guardian of life that was going on in his absence. His eyes and ears with his children. It was a sacred duty, and she took it very seriously. She would not fail him, or their children. For she knows in her heart, if the situation was reversed, he would be doing the same.
No comments:
Post a Comment