Becoming aware of her surroundings once more, she found that what she longed for almost immediately was a long, deep breath of the cool, fresh air of her beloved plains. To inhale the sweet fragrance of the new grasses mixed with the aroma of patches of flowers that hide within them. She even missed the musky, animal smell of the bosk, their dung. All of these things were familiar to her, and it was that familiarity that she craved, that she needed.
But there was no familiarity here. There was no sweet, clean air to breath. The first inhale told her where she was. The stench of death, burning, rotting flesh surrounded her along with the fetid breath of the evil that had command of this place. Yes, it was near. Unseen, but near. Does evil have a distinct smell of its' own? To her it did, and she was immersed in it.
Stirring, she sat up in the darkness. There was no overwhelming desire to open her eyes and look around, but being human, she gave over to the need to know where she was, and what was around her. What she had seen before, had rent a part of her mind, had wounded her soul and her heart. Never before had she been subjected to death and destruction, as she had been exposed to in this place.
When her eyes did open, at first, all she saw was the darkness. That darkness that held things that she really did not want to know about, but that she knew were there. But there was something there in the shadows that puzzled her. Reaching a tentative hand out, it met with something cold and hard. Bars. Shifting her eyes around, she tried to see where she was, but could see nothing. All she had was her hands, her ability to feel for her surroundings. Slowly they began to move, and panic set in again. She was caged! Like a damn sleen or a vulo, the thing had her in a cage. Grasping the bars she began to test their strength, rattling them, screaming.
Naked and caged, like some animal, or a slave being set aside for later use. Something snapped inside of her, and she felt an anger suffuse through her, that she had never had knowledge of before. In her delicate psyche, something came unraveled, loosed from the bounds of intelligent, cognizant thought. Everything that she had experienced, seen or felt began to coalesce into a seething, pustule of emotions that were so rare for her, that she did not know how to deal with them. She erupted, and everything that she had held so tightly to, things that she had denied began to spew forth like poison from an untended wound.
Who are you, what right do you have to keep me here! I have done nothing to you, nothing to anyone. Why me? Why? You filthy bastard, son of a sleen. You are nothing. Nothing hear me! You prey on the emotions of those weaker than you? Does this make you powerful? Invincible? What do you win? What do you gain? Nothing! Just as you are nothing, you gain nothing!
Maybe it was not the physical nakedness that spurred her, but the emotional one. She felt stripped of all that was her, all that to her was normal, humane, and acceptable. That part of her that helped her to survive from day to day, that part of her that shielded her from things that were ugly, pretentious, counter productive. Here, she was naked, not only in body, but in heart and soul, and that was the thing that reared up from deep inside her. That unprotected fount of emotions, unfiltered by what she considered acceptable and proper. The very essence of what was deep inside of her, usually kept a bay by her good sense, and kindness of heart. But no more. The muscles in her arms bunched as she grabbed the bars of the cage and shook them in frustration. Then leaning against the side, she began to kick at them, screaming.
Ba'atar! Where are you? Why are you not here to help me? This thing brought me here because of you, and I followed, and now you are not strong enough to help me? Damnit! Why did you die in this place? You promised me to never leave me. You said the Sky loved you, and that she would never let anything happen to you. She lied! You lied! You were supposed to be stronger, you were supposed to survive for me, for our children. What happened to that? How could you allow yourself to be trapped in this place? How could you leave me like this? You deserted me, our children. When did we cease to matter, when did your own family stop being Tribe!
Falling back, she gulped in draughts of the foul air, that literally seemed to burn her throat, her lungs. What she exhaled was a torrent to sobs and sounds that you would not expect to come from the slender woman. Sounds that almost sounded inhuman. Her anger was not appeased, no where near it.
Where were all the ones that vowed to protect her? For as long as she can remember she had been told....I will always be there for you.....All lies. Brothers, friends, warriors, all of them liars. Where were the protectors? Why were they not here helping her to fight this thing. Didn't they realize that evil never sleeps, never stops. After her, who would be next? If it turned out to be someone closer to them, would they care then? Does she matter so little?
Where is the mercy of the Sky? Did the Sky will this for her? The almightily Sky that sets in judgement of everyone. Giving, taking upon her own whims. Has she not given enough to this fickle bitch? How much did it take to appease the greedy Mistress of them all?
Tilting her head back, she screamed until her throat was raw, to the point she could scream no more. No sound could be forced or coaxed from her. Thrashing against the bars had left her bruised and bloody, but she did not feel the pain from it. That part of her brain that understood physical pain, and was supposed to work with her body, to try and avoid such has abandoned her. Synapses have become skewed, and physical pain is no longer felt. Everything concentrated now, on the emotional and mental agony. That was were this thing had finally worn her down, had finally pierced through the armor of all that was Cana. Through those tightly held emotions, and began to take it's control.
Slowly, bit by bit, she begins to close down, to not care, to surrender. One final plea manages to take flight from her sane mind.....a whispered plea.
Fonce, where are you? You told me this is what you did, this was your special gift, to walk among the dreams. You promised me that you would fight my dreams for me. Have you abandoned me too? I always had faith in you, do you not have faith in me?
Curling into the corner of that cage, the creature there is no longer Cana of the Tuchuk. The body is the same, but it is only a shell. That what made the woman who and what she was, is no longer there, or it is locked so deep beneath the insanity that has taken command, it may never surface. Sanity is only a tiny nugget, being tumbled around in a sea of seething, unchecked, emotions. Emotions running rampant, without the bounds of acceptability or reason.
Then, for the first time the voice comes from the darkness. A sibilant hiss, unearthly whisper. "You are mine"
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