The next few days were difficult on her. She buried herself into the only thing she knew and that was work. She worked long hard hours to try and keep her mind from her sons, and from Ba'atar. There was just this fear in her that he would not want her back, that he no longer loved her. If it came to that, she would have to deal with it.
One saving grace was Hallie. She spent an entire day working beside the young girl, listening to the tale of her hunting trip with Chayleene. It was good for Hallie to get to spend that time with the woman, to get the opportunity to learn from her. And she had learned. The girl was quick, very smart, and evidently a natural mimic, because the animal sounds that Chayleene has taught her are astonishing. So very real. She loves the young girl, and sometimes it makes her wonder what it would be like to have a daughter to spend time with, to teach things to, to share things with. She will probably never know, so for now, she will borrow Tara's daughter.
Each night, she cleaned up and went to the fires. The first night that she did, he showed up with the boys, and the only thing he said to her was.....My sons are hungry. She was thankful for that small nugget that he tossed her. She was allowed to feed her three older sons, to sit on the furs with them, just quietly speaking to each one. Now, she was not allowed near the baby, and that broke her heart. She could not help herself. She kept glancing at him. Evidently Ba'atar has decided it was time for the baby to be weaned and to drink from a cup. From what she saw, it was not going all that well, but she was in no position to say anything.
To her, it was a gift from the skies when he was called away and brought the baby and left it with her. For those few happy moments, she was a very happy woman to be allowed to spend this time with her children. But it all ended too soon. She would have loved to have bathed them, for they were all sorely in need of a good scrubbing. She would have loved to be able to put them down in their furs, and tell them a story, or play a song for them until they nodded off, but it was not to be. Time came for them to go to bed, and she had to turn them over to the slave. She had been told in no uncertain terms to stay away from the wagons, so she would. She had to leave the fires after that. She could not bear for anyone to see her cry.
The next night she returned to the fires and visited with her family there. Perhaps she was not as lively as she might have been, but she found comfort there, but no Ba'atar, and no repeat of the night she got to see her children. Many things lay heavy on her heart, but a few more than others, and one in particular. Things that she might have to learn to deal with, no matter how painful. She found herself listening to each set of boot falls, waiting for the one that she knew best, but it did not come.
After leaving the fires, she sat for a long time in the shadow of the kaiila clan wagon just listening to people walk by talking. She had heard the rumor that Karia had left, and she cannot say that she is sorry that the woman was gone. There was just something very devious and manipulative about her that made her uneasy. She hates to judge another person's intentions unfairly, but the fact that the young woman bolted in the middle of the night, says much about her. Was there some sort of guilt attached to her leaving? Was she trying to purposely cause trouble between her and Ba'atar? If she was, it had almost worked. But maybe she underestimated what they had. Maybe, when they had both had the time to think on this, it would serve to make them closer. It was yet to be seen.
She was not Tuchuk, and if the truth be known, her claims of having the powers of the spex were probably just as false as the front she tried to put up before the tribe, but that crumbled at the first sign of trouble. And so it goes.
Sometimes you just have to stop and realize......What goes around, comes around.
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