Dinner For How Many? Who Knows?

As was her habit, she was up long before the Central Fire began to light the horizon. There was much to be done today, and it would not get done laying in the furs. Sitting up, there was a small wave of nausea, but it passed. When she rolled out of the furs, she dressed and made a list of all that she needed to get done today in her head.



Of course, the first order of business was food. Not for her, but for those of her wagons, which included that group of elite Ubar's guards. She fried up stacks of tarsk strips, scrambled eggs with cheese and cream in them, and set it all out with pieces of warm flatbread and they came by and served themselves. She made up plates for the boys and herself and went to their wagon to share the meal with them. While junean got them dressed for the day, she went in search of the solution to her next item on the list.



She knew that Aponi would be a good choice under other circumstances, but she also knew how the man felt about women that were with child, and she just could not see him allowing one close enough to measure him for leathers so she found herself at the leather workers clan wagon looking for Magda. The woman was a bit older, but not so old that she would be repulsive, and she was very good at her work. She carefully explained to the woman what she needed, where the man's wagons were, and that Ba'atar wanted him to have the finest that could be made. So, Magda went off in search of Fonce, her measuring string in hand. The woman was good. She had been making leathers and vests for Ba'atar for many seasons.



Returning to her wagons, she was set upon by her sons wanting some time with her. She finally agreed to take them to the stream, as long as they understood that they would not be getting into the water. Yeah, right. In all honesty, they were not all that bad. The older two ran off a lot of excess energy and Also seemed fascinated by the plants that grew along the banks, and Two, well, he was cranky, but it soon passed. It turned out to be a busy day at the stream. There were those there doing laundry, Siken was getting water, even Fonce showed up to ultimately just nap under the warmth of the rays of the Central Fire. He was distracted, which is expected. She addressed him a few times, but his mind was elsewhere, so she would talk to him some other time.



One thing that amazed her was Ayguili. For someone that is usually so unemotional, he seemed to have a way with the boys. It was hard for her in some ways, to all him near them, but she had to push that reticence down deep, they were his nephews, and he would not harm them, and she needed to not allow her opinions of the man cloud her judgement in allowing him to be near them. Now, does that mean she did not keep a close eye on them? No, she watched them like a hawk, but she would do that with anyone.



Finally she got them all herded together and on the march back to the wagons. One and Another One had weapons practice with Rook, and Also and Two needed their naps. She found herself making promises that she probably would not be keeping that day. One to Tarra to come visit her at her wagons, and another to Falon to go for a ride. She did not think there was going to be enough ahn in this day to do either of those, and she hated herself for making such promises.



She had not been back at the wagons long when one of Ba'atar's men showed up to gather up the boys. As much as she would have liked to have questioned him, she knew better. He simply told her that the Commander wanted the boys to go cheer someone up. This caused her brow to arch and she muttered under her breath. Good luck. She hoped whoever needed cheering up, was good with spirited boys.



With the boys gone, she and juneau fell to cleaning the seating area around their wagon. It was not all that big a chore since they had done the same thing earlier in the hand, but she still wanted everything to look tidy and neat. The furs were beaten to within a hort of their lives, as were the rugs. Again that treasured low table was brought out, arranged near the fire and three saddles were set around it an covered with furs. She hoped that three would be enough, her mate had been rather vague as to how many exactly to expect for dinner. Stepping back, she gazed around the fire and was satisfied that things were as she wanted them. She then went around dropping herbs into the flames to scent the air.



Now, as to the meal? All she had been told was to make something good, then the caveat was added to make bosk strips, lots of them. Obtaining a good cut of bosk, she carefully sliced it into strips and sprinkled them with just enough yellow salt to help to enhance the natural flavor of the meat. These were put onto roast and she watched them carefully until they reached the right degree of doneness. She did not want them bloody, nor did she want them to dry out, so she was vigilant to take them off the flame at just the right moment, placing them into a large, covered iron pot that was placed just close enough to keep them warm, but not so close that they would continue to cook. The juices that had come from the meat as it was roasted had been collected in a pan, and would be used as a sipping sauce.



She knew that Fonce was not a big fan of bread, but Ba'atar was, so she also made flatbread for him. She then prepared a tray of various cheese, and some of the fruits from the storage barrels that had survived the trip north. And of course, there was honey. Pots of honey, honey cakes, and some of her roasted, honeyed nuts. Also there would be crocks of freshly churned butter for Ba'atar's bread. It was a simple meal, but one that she hoped would tease the palate of both men.



It was time for her now. A bath was in order. Leaving nithya to keep an eye on the meal, she took juneau with her to the bath wagon to help her to bathe and braid her hair. Her bath was one of the luxuries that she allowed herself. Bathed, dressed and braided, she returned to the fire, still a little curious as to where her little squad of sons was.

The Prodigal Returneth

22 But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:
23 And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry:
24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.

Luke 15: 22-24



She had been fixing herself something to eat and bantering with Falon and Aponi as she did, when she caught a movement from the corner of her eye, and recognized it as Rook. She had asked if he wanted blackwine and when he did not answer her she turned to him to ask again, and what she saw brought her heart up to pound in her throat, and the bowl she was holding to slip from her grasp.



Just the shock of what she was seeing was enough to bring her to a pause, but when she became cognizant of who it was that had a hand on Rook's shoulder and moved so slowly, might be, it took her breath away for a moment. Fonce. The dirty, emaciated figure that moved to drop down on a brace of furs, was Fonce. He did not so much sit down, and he simply dropped. It was like watching a long column of bones simply collapse in upon itself.



Still rooted to her spot, it was Rook that spurred both she and Falon into action, calling for food, water and cloths. Falon raced off to his wagons to find clothing, and she quickly made a bowl of stew and grabbed a bota of water and moved towards where they sat. Kneeling down she held the bowl out to him and spoke softly, trying to keep the emotions out of her voice, simply offering him food. She had to blink back tears as she watched the thin arm reach for the bowl, and she kept her hand under it until the dirty, trembling fingers had it within their grasp. She was not sure he was even strong enough to eat the stew, and this pained her.



Yes, they hovered, which was not good. It took her a few moments to remember how he was about his personal space and she lifted and backed away, unable to draw her gaze from the filthy figure sitting there. He was not only dirty, but bloody, and there were cuts and abrasions on every surface of his body that she could see. His lips were dry and cracked, and his voice rough, as if it had not been used in quite sometime. Where had he been? What had he been through? How had he survived? All of these were questions that were swirling through her mind, but would remain unasked until he took it upon himself to answer them, if he ever did.



A light of recognition came to his eyes as he looked to the stew then up to her and said her name. Maybe he was remembering a morning long ago when he had returned and she was there with stew. Stew and an ear. She counted this man as one of her closest friends, and it hurt to see him like this. It hurt to see him looking so lost, so confused. She was accustomed to seeing such a sharpness in those dark eyes, a knowledge, and awareness, that just was not there at the moment.



She had finally had to walk away under the guise of fetching him some honey from the supply wagon. She gathered not only the honey, but dug down into that reserve of strength to find what she needed to be able to help him if he asked for it. Her heart actually sped a bit when she saw the look on his face as he took the jar of honey. Oh yes, he was in there, but she had a feeling that the struggle for Fonce to return to being Fonce was only starting.


It was Rook that suggested that maybe sleep was what was needed, and Fonce seemed to agree. The next question that came from him, sent a bolt of pain through her heart. Where was T'zuri? She and Falon glanced to each other, both of them lacking the courage to breech that subject with him at the moment. She could have said something to appease him, like.........she does not know you are back yet, we will find her for you. But she could not lie to him. He might forgive much, but the Fonce she knew would not forgive a lie. So, coward that she was at the moment, she simply allowed the question to pass with no answer, and Rook came to the rescue saying that he would walk Fonce to his wagons, because he had something to speak to him about.



There was no speaking. Rook helped him to his wagon and he crawled inside and collapsed into the furs. And as she has seen the elder oralu do many times, he took up a post on the platform of that wagon, and skies help the person that thought they would disturb the man before he was rested and ready.



She had returned to her wagons and lay in the furs for a long time, just staring up watching the shadows cast by the fire from her brazier on the overhead covering, thinking. Finally she had gotten up, dressed and slipped out and went to sit on the platform beside Rook.



For a long time no words passed between them. With them, often words were not needed, but he finally spoke to her in a very, low, hushed tone.



"He has been through an ordeal, and right now is more dead than alive. What he needs now is rest, food and more rest. He needs time to adjust to being back among people, time to wrap his mind around what has happened. I am not real sure that he realizes he has been gone so long, and we have to let him be able to bring all of that back into focus in his own way, in his own time. And when he is ready to talk of anything, what you must do is not treat him as an invalid. You have to bring yourself to treat him as you always did. You treat him too gently, he will resent it. Remember, he is a man, a warrior, and was at one time the leader of our people. Do not treat him as anything less than that."



She sat there, knees pulled up,arms wrapped around her legs as she listened and realized the truth to his words. It would be hard, because right now she wanted to baby him as she would one of her sons, but Rook was right, he did not need that. Care and attention? Yes, he needed such, but not in a smothering way. Sitting there, she could hear the rumbling snores from within the wagon of a man that was exhausted, physically, mentally, and even emotionally.



She leaned to give Rook a kiss on the cheek then slid off the platform and made her way back to her own wagon and her furs. Tomorrow was another day, and showed signs of being an interesting one.



All any of them could do is rejoice that he was home safely, and give him the time to wrap his mind around what had happened. What was there, and what was no longer there. The time for questions would come, and she would answer them as truthfully as she knew how.

Just Another Night at the Fires

When she had first arrived at the fires in the evening, she was met with a surprise. There sat Kaioba talking with Tarra. It was a pleasant surprise for she had not seen the woman in almost a full turning of the seasons. In fact, not since there were in the north last season. It was no unusual for the woman to seclude herself, losing herself in her writings and her art. She looked good, and it was good to see her, and she promised to not stay away so long.



People come and people go, that is how it is at the main fires. Soon both Tarra and Kai had gone to their wagons, and she was left with Ayguili. As much as she tried, her conversations with him were always a bit strained, and this one started out no differently. She owed him a debt of gratitude and was not exactly sure how to express it, and her words were awkward, something unusual for her. He had finally lifted his hand to stop her words, and told her very simply that he was happy he could help, and for her to always stay as she was, and to never lose faith in what she and Ba'atar had. His parting words were some that she would think on. A woman that is faithful to her mate, was a treasure and for her to never take that treasure from his brother.



It grew quiet again and she had passed the time playing her flute, allowing her mind to drift with the notes of the melody around the fire. Eventually she was joined by Teng and Aponi and it always made her smile to see the love between the two. It was good to see. Soon they were joined by Falon and there was much teasing of Aponi. This had become an enjoyable thing because the young woman always blushed so prettily and took it all with good humor. Teng was exhausted and soon left for his wagons, and the women were left there alone.



Talk turned to Aponi and her pregnancy and what she could expect. They both tried to ease some of the fears that the woman had. Hopefully they had succeeded. She was worried that the younger woman's fears would make the birthing more difficult, for she could remember being afraid, but not exactly to the point Aponi was.



As it is with women, the talk turned to others from the fires, mainly to the prospects. The young woman, Yamka had completed a task for Aponi, and the report that Aponi gave her told that the task was completed, but the methods that the woman had used, were more difficult than they needed to be. She advised Aponi, that they should talk to the woman and try to teach her better ways to process a hide. And when they did, they would have to try and not make the methods she had been taught by her father to seem wrong, but just different. It was a delicate balance to achieve.



As they laughed and talk, they were all probably aware of the message of the drums, it was part of their daily lives and the pounding about strangers approaching so little attention was paid to it. Rook finally slid off the platform where he had been sitting to go investigate. Possibly because he grew tired of the prattling of women, as men often do.



The conversation and teasing continued.......and then it happened.

Mission Accomplished.

What can be said about their night together? Much, but not of it for anyone other than them.



At first he was confused by the quiet. It was rare that he arrived to not find the boys scrambling for his attention, or someone waiting there for his ear, some problem to be solved, some perceived slight to be righted it. There was none of that thanks to Ayguili and his parents.



There was good food, wine and small intimacies shared that were needed by both. He was fed by her own fingers and he kissed them with each bite. He drank the wine and relaxed. They laughed, they teased, they talked of things great and small, but the important thing was that they talked.



There was even a conversation filled with double entendre' about the bulls and heifers. How some bulls became very possessive of certain females, and she countered that most heifers did not care which bulls the other heifers entertained as long as it was not that particular heifer's choice in bulls, then she could get very upset, and if you have ever seen a mad heifer, you know it is not a welcome sight. A fanciful, light conversation that held much meaning. Nothing else needed to be said about bulls, heifers, men or women and how they all related together.



When she lay the strand of beads in his hand there was that normal confusion of a man. She finally had to draw him a picture in words as to what it meant. Even then, it took him a few moments to digest it all, and of course, Ba'atar being Ba'atar, his chest swelled with pride and he took all of the credit. She could not help but laugh at him. They were well on their way to filling that dozen wagons. She had not said anything to anyone, wanting him to be the first to know. And, she did not wish to take anything from the others, especially Aponi, who was expecting her first child. It has not been so long, that she does not remember the excitement of that. Then there was Kaeli and Noya that had not been with child in many turnings of the seasons, and they were just as elated as Aponi, and she was thrilled for them all.



There was much teasing between them, and had he had his way, he would have taken her right there at the dinner fire, but she had other ideas and ran off teasing him, laughing. It felt good to tease and laugh, to relieve the tension from not only the move but also from all of the things that have happened since.



When the teasing was over and they finally came together, it was with an intensity that was almost frightening in its' nature, but exiting just the same. There was tenderness, there was even a struggle that led to something that surprised them both. Maybe not having a lot of time to spend together can be a good thing. Words whispered and groaned against flesh can be the sweetest when the flesh and the soul are heated by love and passion.



But, it was afterwards, when they had sated hungers and exhausted each other, that was the most important part. That time of holding each other, wrapped together not wishing to be parted, that was the crux of it all. That time when they whispered to each other in the quiet of that world they made together within the circle of their embrace that soothed heart and soul for them both.



Yes, it was a good night, and one that reaffirmed to them both that they could face any challenge that came their way as long as they faced it together.

A Woman On a Mission

She was a woman on a mission. A mission to be able to spend some quality time with her mate with no interruptions. Easy, you say? No, not easy at all. And she knew this, they knew this when this venture of him becoming Ubar began; however, she does not think he was quite as aware of it as she was. She had watched Fonce, and how he never truly had time to relax and enjoy his people. Someone always wanted his ear, and he was usually gracious enough to give it to them. Ba'atar was the same way. They wanted to speak to him, he was there. No problem was too small, no request went unnoticed. He gave until she couldn't give anymore, if that makes any sense at all.



The demands on him were wearing him down, whether he would admit it or not. She could see it in his face and his eyes that always seemed to be looking into space as he thought on the problems of his people. She wanted him to have some time to relax, to rejuvenate. And in her own way, she was being selfish, which was not entirely in her nature, but she was.



They had just traversed a difficult path that left them at outs with one another, and time was needed to repair the rift that had come between them. Time was needed for them to reaffirm the love they had for one another, to talk of things that were going on in their lives. And they have tried. The Sky knows that they have tried but it just has not worked. Each time that they found a few moments to spend together, there had been interruptions, or he had been dealing with the thoughts or problems of others. It is difficult to find that intimacy and closeness when you cannot be completely tuned in on each other. When you are pulled in so many directions.



They needed time. It was just that simple, and if they did not get it, she feared that what had been between them would be lost, and she would not lose without a fight. So, she worked on her battle plan as furiously as any commander in camp.



Part of this battle plan meant she would have to approach Ayguili for his help and this was not easy for her to do, but she did it. She pulled him away from the fire to talk to him, to ask if for just one evening, if he could take care of the needs of the Tribe and give them a break. She told him that she feared if they did not get this time, that she would lose him, and she was not sure she could survive that loss. He had looked at her oddly at first, the there was something in his eyes that led her to think he understood. He promised to try and keep everyone away from them for one evening, as best he could. That was all she could ask for at this point.



Her conversation with him was pivotal, because if he could not promise to do this one thing, the rest of it was all going to be for naught. The second step of her plan was the boys. Packing them little bags she had taken them to stay with Aamon and Birmmah. At first the woman showed disdain at her dumping her children on her, but Aamon stepped in and told her that Cana never did it, and if their grandsons could not spend some time with them, then what kind of grandparents were they. She could have just kissed him.



The next thing on her agenda was the meal. It had to be more than stew or a tabuk roast. She searched until she found someone that had a freshly killed tabuk and she traded for two steaks from it. Taking them to her wagon, she seasoned them and set them in the cold box in the ground to marinate. Fresh bread was made, along with a dessert made from last seasons dried berries that she macerated in wine to plump them up, then cooked them slowly with sugar to sweeten them. They were then put into a pot and buried in the coals to cook slowly all day with the bits of dough in them, and a top crust dusted with sugar. Later in the day, she would set the iron grill up over the fire and cook the steaks.



She and juneau worked like fiends to lean the campsite, making sure it was swept, the furs beaten soundly and put back down. She even brought up two old saddles, placed them beside the fire and draped furs over them to lean up against. She even had some dried sage and other dried herbs to drop into the fire to give off a pleasant, relaxing aroma. A small copper pot was set near the fire filled with water and dried flower blossoms to steep and allow their scent to gently waft around the area. She then brought out clay pots with tallow candles in them, to be lit instead of the oil lamps and torches. Stepping back, she was pleased at how every thing looked and smelled.



Next was her. She had a long soak in the bath wagon in a tub of water scented with the special oils that Tarra always kept her supplied with. That special mixture that was just for her. Her hair was washed, dried with toweling, then braided in a loose braid that hung down her back. One that could easily be unbraided if he so wished. She then pulled out that special leather dress that had belonged to her mother, the one that she had never really had an occasion to wear. It was so soft you did not even realize that it was leather, and had been dyed to a deep green, that set off the green flecks in her hazel eyes. It was decorated with swirls of matching green beading that had a way of catching the light and almost seemed to be almost luminous in their lustre. Adding her best boots, she stepped out and asked Rook if she looked okay, and an almost shy manner.



The old oralu looked at her, shook his head and asked her, did she not realize how beautiful she was? Her cheeks flushed as she shook her head, and pleaded with him to tell her that he though Ba'atar would be pleased. He grunted and said......if he isn't, then he is blind. That would have to do.



The food was ready, the camp looked lovely in the glow of the candles, and she had full trust in Ayguili that he would keep his word. All she needed now was her mate.

Men Will Be Boys and It is Good to Be Needed

She had returned the disguise to the storage wagon, then had gone to the bath wagon to clean up. She was growing a bit weary of all of this, but was not ready to capitulate just yet. She found a slave to help her to bathe, and to braid her hair, adding some beads to it. Dressing in one of her better soft leather dresses she went to the fires, and joined in the banter there. Yes, she was distracted, but she did the best that she could.

It seems like everyone is having babies. Well, no everyone, just Kaeli and Apoini that she knows of. It actually makes her very happy for them both, because she knows they will both make wonderful mothers. And, it was funny to watch Jai and Teng. If Teng's chest swelled any more, he would not be able to wear his vest. There was the usual banter and just that made her feel more normal, better.

Then there he was. He strides up, asks if anyone has anything to talk about and proclaims that he is hungry. Without a word she did as she always has and went to make him a platter of his favorite cuts of meats, cheeses and breads, and gets his bota. Moving to where he was sitting she lowered down and held it out to him. And held it, and held it, and held it. He treated her like some slave that could be ignored. Anger began to well inside her, but she swallowed it down like a bitter draught. She was not going to let him know how he was getting to her. She was stronger than that, so she just held the platter, never saying a word, but she knew that her cheeks were beginning to take on color.

She actually got a reprieve from a source she was not expecting. Jai. It had something to do with a wager on a spar, and a slave, or something like that. He did finally take a piece of the meat from the platter and walked off to spar. She promptly set the platter down on his furs and moved to the ones she had been sitting on, to watch.

Or she tried to watch. It was not a pretty thing. On any given day, one warrior can best the other, then the next day, the outcome would be reversed. Tonight was just not Ba'atar's night. Jai trounced him badly, but he gave almost as good as he got. In the end they were both beat and banged up, but Jai prevailed.

She had gone to get damp cloths to try and wipe some of the blood away, and he turned and looked down at her, and told her to take him to their wagons. He did not have to ask twice. She helped him to limp home to their wagon, and when they got here, he asked her if this meant that she was home. She said yes, that if he wanted her, that she was home. That seemed to confuse him for a bit, so she told him, yes that she was home.

She had helped him to undress, made him some of the tea they had left from when he was injured before, then bound his ribs. There was no hiding the fact that he had missed her. Part of his body was willing, but the bruised and battered ribs were not. She finally convinced him to lie down and rest and let the tea work its' magic.

And it was her night to hold him, comfort him while he slept. It was good to be home.

Deception? Yes!

She almost felt guilty. Almost, but not quite. She just couldn't stand it any longer, she had to know how her family was. And there was only one way to find out. She had to be sneaky. Rummaging around in the supply wagon at the clan fires, she came up with what might just work as a disguise. An old pair of leathers, a tunic, a ratty old coat and a few other things. She put on the leathers, found a length of rope for a belt, then slid her braid down her back, tucking it into the waist, then came the tunic, and the old coat. It all helped to give a little bulk to her slim frame. She then crouched down and took some dirt and rubbed it on her face to maybe darken her skin a little, then came the wind scarf that she wrapped over her head and around the lower portion of her face so that only her eyes were visible. The finishing touch was a cloak that further hid her from view.




Choosing a kaiila from the pens she rode out into the herds mingling with the other out riders and the bosk. It was not long before she saw him and the boys. The baby was fussy and crying, and he didn't seem to know exactly what to do. They were all in need of a bath, that much was evident even from where she sat watching. She almost rode up when she saw Another One take One's bola and hit Also with it. No wonder the boy had bruises on his head. Two continued to fuss and cry, and she almost laughed when she saw Ba'atar trying to get him to take water from the bota.




The oldest two were griping about being hungry. When he passed them off some jerky, Another One refused it, saying he wanted real food like Mother cooks, something hot. One chimed in that he did too. Also One just nodded in agreement with the older two. You could almost feel the frustration pouring from Ba'atar's pores. He tried to explain to them that real warriors did not eat hot meals when they were in the herd.




It was Another One, her little thinker that looked to his father and said......Then take us to the wagon, find our Mother and she will make us hot food. Ducking her head to keep from laughing, she could have just hugged him at that particular moment. And as if to add his two bosk to the argument, Two took up his wail again.




Ba'atar reached for the reins of the kaiila that Another One and Also One were riding, then nodded for One to follow, and turned and started for the wagons, still trying to calm Two as he rode. It was a bit dangerous, for her to get any closer, but she decided it just might be worth it. She followed them at a distance and soon realized where he was headed. She gave a bit of a disgruntled chuckle and fell back and just watched.




He took them to his mother. Now why did that not surprise her? She could only imagine the conversation they were having. And she pretty much knew that all of the blame was falling on her. He left the boys there and rode away. She sat on the kaiila watching as Birmmah ladled stew into bowls and got the boys settled. She also saw Aamon duck his head hiding a smirk. She needed to talk to him, soon.



Turning the kaiila around she rode back to the pens, thinking on all of this. If he allowed her to come home, perhaps the next time he asked her what she did all day, and she told him that she took care of his sons, there would be a little less disdain in his grunt.

What Goes Around, Comes Around......Right?

The next few days were difficult on her. She buried herself into the only thing she knew and that was work. She worked long hard hours to try and keep her mind from her sons, and from Ba'atar. There was just this fear in her that he would not want her back, that he no longer loved her. If it came to that, she would have to deal with it.



One saving grace was Hallie. She spent an entire day working beside the young girl, listening to the tale of her hunting trip with Chayleene. It was good for Hallie to get to spend that time with the woman, to get the opportunity to learn from her. And she had learned. The girl was quick, very smart, and evidently a natural mimic, because the animal sounds that Chayleene has taught her are astonishing. So very real. She loves the young girl, and sometimes it makes her wonder what it would be like to have a daughter to spend time with, to teach things to, to share things with. She will probably never know, so for now, she will borrow Tara's daughter.



Each night, she cleaned up and went to the fires. The first night that she did, he showed up with the boys, and the only thing he said to her was.....My sons are hungry. She was thankful for that small nugget that he tossed her. She was allowed to feed her three older sons, to sit on the furs with them, just quietly speaking to each one. Now, she was not allowed near the baby, and that broke her heart. She could not help herself. She kept glancing at him. Evidently Ba'atar has decided it was time for the baby to be weaned and to drink from a cup. From what she saw, it was not going all that well, but she was in no position to say anything.



To her, it was a gift from the skies when he was called away and brought the baby and left it with her. For those few happy moments, she was a very happy woman to be allowed to spend this time with her children. But it all ended too soon. She would have loved to have bathed them, for they were all sorely in need of a good scrubbing. She would have loved to be able to put them down in their furs, and tell them a story, or play a song for them until they nodded off, but it was not to be. Time came for them to go to bed, and she had to turn them over to the slave. She had been told in no uncertain terms to stay away from the wagons, so she would. She had to leave the fires after that. She could not bear for anyone to see her cry.




The next night she returned to the fires and visited with her family there. Perhaps she was not as lively as she might have been, but she found comfort there, but no Ba'atar, and no repeat of the night she got to see her children. Many things lay heavy on her heart, but a few more than others, and one in particular. Things that she might have to learn to deal with, no matter how painful. She found herself listening to each set of boot falls, waiting for the one that she knew best, but it did not come.




After leaving the fires, she sat for a long time in the shadow of the kaiila clan wagon just listening to people walk by talking. She had heard the rumor that Karia had left, and she cannot say that she is sorry that the woman was gone. There was just something very devious and manipulative about her that made her uneasy. She hates to judge another person's intentions unfairly, but the fact that the young woman bolted in the middle of the night, says much about her. Was there some sort of guilt attached to her leaving? Was she trying to purposely cause trouble between her and Ba'atar? If she was, it had almost worked. But maybe she underestimated what they had. Maybe, when they had both had the time to think on this, it would serve to make them closer. It was yet to be seen.



She was not Tuchuk, and if the truth be known, her claims of having the powers of the spex were probably just as false as the front she tried to put up before the tribe, but that crumbled at the first sign of trouble. And so it goes.



Sometimes you just have to stop and realize......What goes around, comes around.

Work and Time Heal.....Don't They?

Work. That was the key. She had not rested well, there had been too many things on her mind, so she was up early. There was not much she could do but bury herself in her clan work.


Her first task of the morning was tending to Davu. Approaching him, her hand reached out to stroke his neck as she spoke softly to him. It was a mixture of words, clicks of her tongue and soft growls. One baleful eye looked at her, but he relaxed, allowed her closer. They seemed to have an innate sense that she meant them no harm. Kaiila were much more intelligent that same gave them credit for being. She continued to talk to him in a calm, reassuring tone as she crouched down, opened her pack and took out the jar of oil and the bits of verr wool. Carefully she massaged the oil into his joints then tied the pieces of wool around them as added protection and insulation. He was an old beast, and probably his days of carrying Aponi for long rides on the plains were well over, but he was not quite ready to be put down. She would tell Apoini that when the time came, she would do it.


The rest of her day was spent in minor injuries, cutting nails, cleaning caked mud and grass from between clawed toes. They were menial tasks that gave her plenty of time to think, which really wasn't what she needed, but it was there. A realization came to her. He could keep her from their wagons, he could even keep her from her sons if he took a mind to. But, he could not keep her from the circle of the first fires. Or could he? He was Ubar, after all. She had fought hard and long to earn her place at those wagons, and she did not intend to relinquish it so easily. She would return, and if he exiled her from them too? Well, she just did not know.


In the afternoon, she sat eating a meager meal of some dried meats she found in the clan wagon, choking it down with sips of water from a bota. Rook has materialized to check on her and she assured him that she was fine. She wasn't, but how she was really feeling would be kept a well guarded secret. He tried to feel her out, and she has just quietly told him that she was fine and would work this out on her own. Her only request of him, was to have juneau to bring her some clothing, if they thought it would not get her into too much trouble. The rest of the time was spent thinking about her sons, how they were doing, who was seeing that they were fed, bathed and in their furs at a decent time. Who was nursing the baby? All of these things tumbled around in her head constantly.


When the slave arrived with a bundle of clothing, she was probably happier to see her than the girl knew. She began to prod her gently as to how the boys were, and the girl stared down at the ground, replying softly that the Master did not want a slave around his sons that had been tainted by a woman. Why did that not surprise her? She had touched the girls hair and told her to go back to the wagons, to do her chores and to stay out of his way as much as possible. Now, juneau had never been a slave to offer all that much affection, but today she did. Leaning over, she kissed her boots and muttered low. I hope you return soon Mistress. She then jumped up and ran away. Watching her go, she whispered softly…."So do I girl, so do I"

Exiled

She had ran blindly into the night, trying to escape the pain that seemed to be wrapping icy fingers around her body, heart and soul, to no avail. It followed her, and would probably follow her for the rest of the days of her life. At one point, she found herself where she was the most comfortable, with the kaiila. Ciegue came to her, nudging her shoulder, almost as if he knew of the pain in her heart. She buried her face into his mane and cried even more, then whispered.......I guess I have dishonored you too. It did not seem to bother him, because he stayed right with her, never moving more than a few horts from her as she moved around.



She had been told to go to the outer wagons of her brother, but she just could not do that. She could not face the shame involved with her failure, so she would stay in the only place where she felt comfortable, with the kaiila. She had been such a fool, and she knew it. Jealousy is an unbecoming emotion in anyone, and she had reacted badly. But the thing that made it even worse, is that she had acted badly before others. She had shamed herself and Ba'atar before the Tribe, and she was miserable about it.



Getting some old, ratty furs that were stored in the clan supply wagon, she settled down on the ground, wrapping them around her and sat thinking and crying. She just loved him so much, and sometimes that love blinded her. She feared losing him, and that fear might just be the thing that drives him away. Ciegue still stayed beside her, dipping his head down to nuzzle her from time to time. She begins to talk softly to him between sobs and sniffles.



"You see, it is like this. I made a fool of myself, and embarrassed Ba'atar and everyone at the fires. He had come to our furs one night with the scent of another woman on him. At first, I thought it was a slave, and men have their slaves and I know that. I think what set me off was when I smelled that same scent on one of the new prospects, the one that just sets my teeth on edge to begin with. She is beautiful, but that does not bother me so much. Most of the women that surround me are beautiful, much more so than I. It is the way that she carries herself, her attitude of entitlement, and the way she tries to manipulate things. That angers me more than anything."



The half-blind beast runs his snout along her shoulder and she pulls her legs up, wraps her arms around them and continues to talk to him quietly like an old friend, a hand lifting to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "So, as I was saying, I smelled that scent on her, and something inside me just burst. I couldn't see anything but that smirk that she has this tendency to get, and I just wanted to slit her throat." Sighs. "It would have probably been better if I had done that, instead of what I did do. I let my anger and jealousy take over, and accused her of sleeping with Ba'atar." Hugs her legs tighter, frowns then continues. "That was wrong, and now that I have calmed down, I know it was wrong. You see, I don't think he would do that to me, but I was not thinking straight at the moment. And I do trust him, it is her that I don't trust. I think she is a manipulative she-sleen, and I do think that she has thrown herself at him. And, if you think of it, what normal man would not react. I do trust him, it is just her that I don't trust."



The kaiila snorts like he understood every word that she was saying. Her hand lifts to scratch the side of his long, beautiful face. "Now, I have no idea how Ba'atar got her scent on him as he did, but you can sure bet that I will ask him, someday. Might not be any day soon, seeing as how he has pretty much banished me from the fires, but I will ask. It might be the last think I ever get to ask anyone, but I intend to ask."



Her voice softens as the anger begins to drain out of her, and the tears seep from her eyes again. "I should never have acted as I did at the fires. I shamed him and I am miserable over that. I love him so much, and I think he knows how what he did would simply kill my soul. He sent me away. Away from him and my sons. It hurt so badly to see the confusion on their little faces. I will never get that image out of my mind or my heart. I fear they will never look at me the same after tonight. I would have rather he had beaten me, I think. I could have gotten over that, but I am not too sure how to get over this. Emotional pain is always harder to endure than physical pain, but I will find a way."



The kaiila nudged her again, and leaned down to take the edge of one of the furs between his fangs and brought it up, almost as if he was telling her it was time to sleep. Patting his nose again, she lay down, pulled the fur up and tried to sleep.

Promise

She had been working since early in the morning on getting their wagons settled in the way that was most efficient and most pleasing to her. Ayguili had sent kasra over to help after she had finished the chores around his wagons.



She and the girls were working on putting the oven back together, carefully stacking the fired bricks and covering them with mud from the steam, when Ba'atar rode up and held his arm down to her. She started to protest that she had too much to do, but didn't. These few moments that they managed to steal together had become like precious little gems to be hidden away in her heart.



Their first stop was the kaiila pens where he pointed out a young fawn foal and told her that he wanted it trained to be the mount for Another One. She had observed the foal and nodded, asking where he had gotten it and he said it was part of Teng's payment for Apoini.



They then rode out into the herds and he pointed out each small herd that he was building for each of their sons, each bosk marked not only by their normal brand, but by smaller brands that had been chosen for each boy. They discussed all of this at length, making plans for the future of their sons.



He then rode deeper into the herd and when he stopped, she was in awe. Turning to look at him she asked where it had come from, and he told her........Teng. He dismounted then held his arms up to help her down. Wrapping his arm around her waist they approached the beautiful white bosk, each of them laying a hand on the thick white coat along it's hump.



She was amazed by the beauty of the animal, and how its' coat shone in the rays of the Central Fire, almost taking up a cold, icy glow. Running her hand over the horn she stopped and studied it carefully, looking into the startling blue of its' eyes. There was an intelligence there that she found mesmerizing. It was almost as if the animal knew that he was special, a good omen, a sign of prosperity for their people.



She did not usually take to naming bosk from the herd, but this one was unique, special. Curling her fingers into the thick fur she leaned in to whisper in one twitching ear. "I will call you Promise. For you are a promise to our people." Ba'atar spoke with two of the out riders, dispatching one to tell Tarra of the white animal, and another to tell Teng that he has best claim the woman soon, or he was going to keep her.



He came to stand behind her, encircling her waist with his arms, a hand resting on her belly and spoke low into her ear about Teng taking great stock in the little leather worker. She had leaned back against him and laughed telling him that she thought it was sweet that Teng had given up so much of what was his to have the hand of Aponi as his.



Turning her, his hand lifted her chin, the calloused pads of his fingers running over her cheek as he whispered that Teng could give all he wanted for the woman Aponi, but that he held the greatest treasure on the plains in his arms every night.



She could have stayed right there in that embrace all day, but they both knew that these stolen moments were at an end. Both of them had far too much to do. Lifting her back up into the saddle, he mounted and wrapped his arm around her and rode back into camp and set her to her feet, leaning to steal one last kiss.



A sigh escaped from juneau's lips as she watched them. She turned to look at the girl and grinned and told her back to work. They needed to finish this over so he could have fresh bread this night.

Connecting

Something had happened between them. Something so wonderful it was difficult to think about. There had been the rush to the wagons, the telling of Rook to keep everyone away, Ba'atar tying the flaps in knots so they would not be disturbed. The needed and desire between them was palpable, it had a life of its' own, but there was more.


There were the words. Words of her being his calm and peace amidst the chaos. Words of him giving her the sense of protection and strength that she needed to deal with their new life. They both proclaimed that there were times when they both desired to just be on the plains with the other one, no one to disturb them. It was a dream, but one held by them both.


Perhaps this all had been brought about by the difficulties they had just been through during the journey. Both of them had almost lost the other one. She almost lost him to the Turians, and he her to the abyss when the ground opened up. Maybe it had led both of them to stop, and look at what they had. To realize how much they did love and need the other one in order to just be whole.


The touches were gentle, erotic and loving. Each built the fire between them to higher and hotter levels. Each played the others body like the most delicate of musical instruments, coaxing the melody of passion, desire and love from the other. They explored each other like it was their very first time, and found new pleasures they had not taken the time to enjoy before. There was a connection there between them like never before. There was no battle for dominance. There was no leader, or follower. There was a synchronicity, a perfect connection between body, heart and soul that had never been known between them before.

There was no him, no her, only Them. A new creature that combined the best of each. Not one where one fed upon the other, but one that sought to nurture and give succor to that other part of itself.



And when they finally came together it was looking into each others eyes, delving deep into each other's soul. The fire of their passion burned out of control and consumed them. He filled her body and her heart.



When it was over, they did not part. Neither of them wanted to lose this new found connection, so they lay together, still staring into one another's eyes, talking in whispers, her leg draped over his hip, connected. And sleep finally came to them. A restful, peaceful slumber.



When her eyes fluttered open, she was aware of the gray lights that heralded the dawning of a new day, but she was immediately aware of something else. Her eyes found his face, and there was that grin as he slowly moved inside her.



Yes, life was good in the wagons of the Ubar this morn.

Cold Days and Colder Nights

Upon reflection, she can never remember being as cold as she has been on this migration to the northern grounds. Perhaps that is because they have never left as late in the season as they did this time. So many obstacles had been thrown at them, but there was a certain amount of pride and satisfaction that they had met each one as a cohesive group, as a people. Each challenge had been met, and overcome.


And then there was the question of personal challenges. She had her own share of those, and tried to do the best with them that she could. She had suffered pain, but survived. She had looked death in the face, and survived. She had to relinquish the feeding of her youngest son to another while she was injured, but they had both survived that. She had spent many lonely nights, because her mate was tending to tribe affairs, but she survived.



All of these things heavy on her mind and heart during the last few hands of the journey, but she tried to face them one at a time. Perhaps it is selfish of her, but the one that seemed to haunt her the most was not getting to spend enough time with Ba'atar. She understood it, that the Tribe came first, as it should, but that did not mean she had to like it. It just seemed like each time they tried to get away just to talk, it did not happen. Someone always interrupted, someone always had to have his ear on some of the most amazingly mundane things you could imagine, but he gave it. It was actually funny in a way, that the man who could be so selfish at times, gave so freely to his people.


Right now, what she wanted most was just an ahn or two with him, with no interruptions, with no one needing his ear. For just a small amount of time, she would like to be the focus of his every thought. She promises to give him back, honestly she does. So many nights, he had finally stumbled into the wagon, only to fall into an exhausted sleep with maybe a kiss to her cheek or her temple. And on most of those nights, his rest was not for long, because someone was always looking for him, needing him. And so goes life.