After she had managed to drag herself into the saddle, she passed out from the agony of her injuries. Slumped over the saddle she had no recourse to allow the kaiila to get her out of harms way. She was unaware of how carefully he stepped around the fissures that had appeared in the ground. She was unaware of how far he had to travel to avoid the chasms that seemed to drop off to infinity. She was unaware of the cuts he took to the taloned pads of his feet as he moved by instinct towards the two legged ones that he knew she needed.
Through that day, as he picked his way across the icy expanse of the plains, memories would surface from time to time in her head. She remembered the night that she and Fonce argued over the kaiila, and what he had said to her. Even in his disappointment of the kaiila maybe not being for him, he had told her that he felt that the animal was for her instead. He told her to watch him closely and maybe he would lead her. For a time she felt him close, almost as if in some way he was protecting her.
When they arrived back at the wagons, she became lucid enough to cry out in pain when she tumbled from the saddle into the gentle, waiting grasp of Tengfei. She was lucid enough to remember him carrying her into the warmth of a wagon.
Warm, she was getting warm then someone touched her side and she screamed out again in pain and slipped into that semi-lucid state that her mind and body had created to protect her. She was aware of others, of Tarra speaking softly to her, giving her strength to bear the pain. Telling her to find a calm, peaceful place, and she did.
It was the same place where she often goes when her mind is in need to calm and tranquility. Her eyes flutter open and the first thing she notices is the fire and the warmth that exudes from it. Then she would realize that her head lay in a lap, a very familiar lap, one that held and protected her when she was young.
Gentle fingers stroked her head, then that soft voice began to speak to her. "I have been waiting for you, daughter."
Closing her eyes again she whispers. "Am I dead?"
The soft laugh comes from her mother. "No, not dead, but you are badly injured."
Her brow furrows. "Am I going to die?"
For a time, the woman is quiet then speaks. "Do you wish to die?"
Tears begin to seep from the corners of her eyes. "I don't know. Sometimes I just get so weary, and I feel like everything I do is wrong."
The gentle hands urge her to sit up, and when she does her mother wraps her arms around her. "Now, tell me why you feel that way? I find it curious, because from watching you, you seem to be doing a fine job."
Leaning her head to that shoulder she speaks softly as she watches the fire, the flames dancing in colors she is not used to seeing. "I feel as if I am letting Ba'atar down, that I could do more to ease his burden, but I just don't know how to help him. Everyone seems angry at him, and I think that is just because they do not understand him as I do."
A kiss is placed to her temple. "Cana, he is different, he does things differently than maybe some others in his place did. People do not always understand that. But we watch him, and his heart is filled with love and concern for his people. He is trying to guide them back to the old ways, the ways that may be more difficult, but that will strengthen the Tribe. Some will always resist, and seek the simpler path."
Sitting up, she draws her knees up wrapping her arms around them. "Why does it have to be so difficult? Why can they just not see that he is trying, and they are not giving him a chance?
"Because they do not wish to see, and for varied reasons. Some simply wish to manipulate things for their own satisfaction and gain, and do not always look at what is good for everyone. And he has a way of seeming hard and unyielding, but that will change if they will give him the chance."
Hugs her legs tighter. "That is what I fear. I fear that they will not give him the chance and that I will lose him. If I lose him, I do not think I will wish to live."
The woman reaches to rub her back gently. "Listen to yourself. You have a job to do. You have children to raise and teach in the old ways. You must be there to protect them from those that will try to lead them astray. You must stay strong, for them, for him and for your people. Never lose sight of that."
She gets that stubborn set to her jaw that does not happen often. "If I lose Ba'atar, I do not want my children to be raised among them. I will take my sons and move back to the wagons of my family."
"And what of your daughters?"
Looks back to her mother as if she has lost her mind. "You have not been watching closely enough, I have no daughters, only sons."
The woman smiles at her. "You will someday, if you are patient, and they will need you."
She laughs. "Ba'atar with daughters? He will simply die if that happens. He thinks that he can only produce sons, that the Sky sees to that."
Her mother laughs with her. "Daughter, the Sky has many things in store for your man that he is not expecting. Just be patient and wait."
Her brow furrows again. "But what if he does not live to give me daughters? What then?" The sky seems to be getting lighter, and she begins to feel that pull to go back to her own world, and she knows that soon her mother will be leaving to return to hers.
The woman lifts to her feet and moves to the great white bird that transports her to these meetings. "Cana, have faith and trust. If they will just trust him, they willl survive and flourish. And help is coming."
She looks up. "Help?"
Her mother mounts the bird, reaching to stroke its' opalescent feathers. "Yes, the old one returns and she will seek out the woman child and train her. All will be well and the Tribe will survive and grow stronger if they will just trust and not be led astray. They must remember.......Tribe Above All. It is not about who seeks the most power. It is about the ones that keep the good of the Tribe in their hearts. Your man is one of those. Always walk his path with him, support and love him, and all will be well."
She stands, loathe to see her mother leave, and something comes to her memory. "Mother, tell Fonce thank you for watching over me, and that he is missed."
As the bird takes flight her mother looks at her. "You will have to tell him yourself someday, for he is not hear among us. Remember, trust. Never give up on anyone or anything."
She watches as the bird takes flight. "I love you so much, and miss you, but I will trust, for you have guided me wrong in the past." She watched as their shadow passed over the tre-moons, then felt that pull back to her own world take a firmer hold on her, drawing her back.
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