The peace that she had felt while spending time with the fanged beast, had washed over her like a warm rain. Was she being too hard on Ba'atar? Returning to her wagons, she had sent juneau to go help the elderly leather worker with cleaning her wagons, and kasra off to her brothers wagon to retrieve her sons. Tug was still out in the herds with Ephrim, but the girl brought Another One back. She sat for a long time, working with him and the little clay mug, trying to teach him to drink from it. Finally, he had gotten cranky, and she put him down for a nap.
She sat at the fire, thinking of all that had been going on, and a decision was made. Tonight, after the camp calmed down, she would move her things back to where they belong. Was this because she was missing him? Yes, it was. Right now, she was missing him greatly. That Tuchuk stubbornness has began to surface, and she realizes that it just is not within her to give up on something so easily. She loved him too much to allow this to happen, and she still had faith in them, as a couple. They would work things out somehow. Thoughts on how quickly everything had moved, play in her head.
One night, she had a baby and was claimed within the same ahn. How often does that happen? And by a man that she really did not know all that well. Hands idly rub over her middle as she thinks on many things. With Tayco, it had been so very different. She had known him most of her life, and had been in love from him from the first time she had seen him. Every young girl has that one warrior that they worship, that the dream of. The one that they usually never have a chance to be the woman of, but still they love them with a deep devotion. With her, it had been different. She had become the woman of that dream mate, and had known much happiness with him. He had been then one that had in many ways guided her from being a child to being a woman. He had been proud of her, loved her, and encouraged her. Tayco had allowed her to grow and to be herself.
Then there was Loch. He had come into her life quietly, simply. Not even knowing her well, he had hunted for her, provided for her and Tug, watched over them. What had happened between them had grown from a friendship to more. He had taught her that she could laugh again. And they had laughed together, teased, and allowed the friendship to grow into love. She has to laugh softly to herself as she remember the night that he first mentioned the possibility of them becoming as one. It had been a casual question. What would she think about them mating? When she had said she would not be adverse to it, he had nodded, then the next thing she knew, he was talking to Kam. Even after he had laid claim to her, it was several days before he had truly sealed the mating. They had their moments, their disagreements, but nothing that was major, or that had lasted long. With him, she had matured even more into the woman she was.
Pondering all of this, a realization came to her. One of the biggest differences between Tayco and Lochlan, and Ba'atar, is that the first two were older. Tayco had been well past thirty turnings, and Lochlan had been twenty seven. Both had been on their own for a long time, and perhaps were a bit more accustomed to taking care of things on their own. Whereas, Ba'atar was much younger and actually very new to being on his own. To being a member of the first wagons. And even at that, he was not on his own. Even after he had come to the first wagons, Birmmah had still taken care of most of his needs. She cooked for him, did his laundry, cleaned his wagons. She sits up with a realization. In all honesty, Ba'atar has never truly been....on his own.
It was if a new day had dawned on her. Perhaps that was part of the problems that they were having. Ba'atar had been allowed to think that everything had to go his way, because that is what he had learned at his mother's knee. And she herself, had allowed this to continue, by striving to be just like his mother. Shaking her head, she speaks softy to the baby she was carrying, telling it what a fool she has been.
Perhaps it was time for her to reclaim herself? It would not be just for herself, but for him and their sons. They needed a mother that was strong, and sure of who and what she was.
She sat at the fire, thinking of all that had been going on, and a decision was made. Tonight, after the camp calmed down, she would move her things back to where they belong. Was this because she was missing him? Yes, it was. Right now, she was missing him greatly. That Tuchuk stubbornness has began to surface, and she realizes that it just is not within her to give up on something so easily. She loved him too much to allow this to happen, and she still had faith in them, as a couple. They would work things out somehow. Thoughts on how quickly everything had moved, play in her head.
One night, she had a baby and was claimed within the same ahn. How often does that happen? And by a man that she really did not know all that well. Hands idly rub over her middle as she thinks on many things. With Tayco, it had been so very different. She had known him most of her life, and had been in love from him from the first time she had seen him. Every young girl has that one warrior that they worship, that the dream of. The one that they usually never have a chance to be the woman of, but still they love them with a deep devotion. With her, it had been different. She had become the woman of that dream mate, and had known much happiness with him. He had been then one that had in many ways guided her from being a child to being a woman. He had been proud of her, loved her, and encouraged her. Tayco had allowed her to grow and to be herself.
Then there was Loch. He had come into her life quietly, simply. Not even knowing her well, he had hunted for her, provided for her and Tug, watched over them. What had happened between them had grown from a friendship to more. He had taught her that she could laugh again. And they had laughed together, teased, and allowed the friendship to grow into love. She has to laugh softly to herself as she remember the night that he first mentioned the possibility of them becoming as one. It had been a casual question. What would she think about them mating? When she had said she would not be adverse to it, he had nodded, then the next thing she knew, he was talking to Kam. Even after he had laid claim to her, it was several days before he had truly sealed the mating. They had their moments, their disagreements, but nothing that was major, or that had lasted long. With him, she had matured even more into the woman she was.
Pondering all of this, a realization came to her. One of the biggest differences between Tayco and Lochlan, and Ba'atar, is that the first two were older. Tayco had been well past thirty turnings, and Lochlan had been twenty seven. Both had been on their own for a long time, and perhaps were a bit more accustomed to taking care of things on their own. Whereas, Ba'atar was much younger and actually very new to being on his own. To being a member of the first wagons. And even at that, he was not on his own. Even after he had come to the first wagons, Birmmah had still taken care of most of his needs. She cooked for him, did his laundry, cleaned his wagons. She sits up with a realization. In all honesty, Ba'atar has never truly been....on his own.
It was if a new day had dawned on her. Perhaps that was part of the problems that they were having. Ba'atar had been allowed to think that everything had to go his way, because that is what he had learned at his mother's knee. And she herself, had allowed this to continue, by striving to be just like his mother. Shaking her head, she speaks softy to the baby she was carrying, telling it what a fool she has been.
Perhaps it was time for her to reclaim herself? It would not be just for herself, but for him and their sons. They needed a mother that was strong, and sure of who and what she was.
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