Fonce sought her out to tell her personally about belle, or Leonette as she is to be called now. I got the feeling that he was a bit relieved when I told him that I thought it was a good move. I have always had a certain connection to belle when she was a slave. We have spent many an ahn just talking. I wish her all the luck that I can with her new life, and I will help her in anyway that I can. I have spoken with others of the clan today, telling them that she will be among us, and we will share our knowledge with her completely. She has a knack with the beasts that I have known about for some time now. She will be an asset to us.
Our talk turned into something deeper. And odd question came from him. What did I think of slaves? Now just how do you answer a question like that? Slaves are slaves and a part of our daily life, it is just how things are. I think that there are good slaves and bad slaves, just as there are good free persons and bad free persons. That is just how human nature is. I also told him that I would probably make a very poor slave, and he wanted to know why? That one for me was a bit easier. I may not be the most vocal woman around, or the one with the most fire in her eyes, but I am very stubborn, and I just cannot see myself as being subservient to anyone.
We talked about love, unconditional love and obsession. One question he did ask, took me a bit by surprise. He asked if I would have ever submitted to Tayco. Again, a question that is difficult to answer on many levels. I loved Tayco, for almost as long as I could remember. In many ways, I did submit to him my heart and my love, but as far as submitting to him as a slave? Never! Again something that has to be looked at from different angles. The first one being, that it is not my nature. I am independent, maybe quietly so, but independent none the less, and to submit to anyone would destroy that part of me, that makes me who I am. That part of me that is free. Free to love unconditionally, and not because it is expected because I am a slave. It would rob the soul and spirit of Cana. I am not too sure he understood that exactly, but he accepted it as how I felt on the matter.
Another angle at looking at this, is that I do not think Tayco would have wanted me to submit. He loved that part of me that is me. When he claimed me, he told me that it was because he loved me, and that through time, I had stayed true to myself, who I was and what I was. I had never tried to change to be what I thought he wanted as some did. I had stayed Cana, waited patiently, and lived my life. Being true to myself, is very important to me. It is the same with Lochlan. He fell in love with me for who and what I am. I am a woman that has been blessed with the love of two good men that have accepted me as who I am, and both seem to find joy and comfort in it.
Since my talk with Fonce, I have brought up memories of a night long ago. The girl pariah and I had came upon a man camped on the plains and when we returned to camp had told Bo and some of the other warriors about it. A few nights later, Sef and Lone had taken me on a raid to his camp,but that is another story, for another time. The result of it, was that we took his bosk and his wagons.
A few days later, Tayco had gone to talk again to the man. Traveling with him was his niece, or a woman that he said was his niece. He offered her to Tayco in exchange for one of his wagons back. Odd, don't you think? As that evening progressed we took the woman back to camp. I will never forget her. She was strong, independent and true to herself. Time and time again, Tayco tried to get her to submit, she would not. She defied him at every turn. As a last resort, he made small cuts on her arms and neck by the kaiila pens, and told her that if she did not submit freely, he would turn the kaiila loose on her. Up until the very end, she held her head high, and refused. She died that night, free. In a way, it saddened both of us, but we came away with respect for the woman.
I can still remember standing there, Tayco nodding then looking at me and saying that the woman died an honorable death, because she would not submit to being something that she was not. I like to think that I would be that brave if given the same choice. That I would be able to remain true to who I am until the death. And because of that night, I know that Tayco would have never have asked me to submit to him, nor would I offer to do it freely. For to do so, I would be denying who I am.
Now does this mean that all women are this way? No. Each of us are different, with different needs, desires and paths to happiness. Mine just does not run the route of a collar.
He was very serious when he asked if I thought he would destroy any woman that was his personal slave? Skies, where did the man come up with all of these questions? It was hard to answer this. It would depend on the woman, I think. It would depend on how obsessive she was, and whether or not she could realize that he was not hers alone. I see slaves that do this, and to be honest, I do not understand it. They are slaves, pure and simple. They live and die at the whim of the free. And a personal slave to him would be no different.
Fonce is a complicated man, maybe that is why I enjoy our talks, even when the subject matter becomes a bit intense. I always try to be completely honest with him with my thoughts. I think that is what friends do, and he is my friend, so this time was no different. I told him that I did not think he was ready for the unconditional love that a personal slave might have for him. I think this shocked him in a way, and he pressed me to explain. How do you tell someone that they are not ready to love another, until they can completely take down all the barriers and stand with a naked soul? He holds back, and as long as he does, he will not know love. But that is my opinion, and we all know what is said about opinions.
All in all, I enjoyed the talk, as I always do. I am comfortable with him, and him with me, and that is a good feeling. I think of him as a brother, but most importantly, I think of him as a friend.
Now, I wonder how much trouble I would get into if I stole that kite?
Our talk turned into something deeper. And odd question came from him. What did I think of slaves? Now just how do you answer a question like that? Slaves are slaves and a part of our daily life, it is just how things are. I think that there are good slaves and bad slaves, just as there are good free persons and bad free persons. That is just how human nature is. I also told him that I would probably make a very poor slave, and he wanted to know why? That one for me was a bit easier. I may not be the most vocal woman around, or the one with the most fire in her eyes, but I am very stubborn, and I just cannot see myself as being subservient to anyone.
We talked about love, unconditional love and obsession. One question he did ask, took me a bit by surprise. He asked if I would have ever submitted to Tayco. Again, a question that is difficult to answer on many levels. I loved Tayco, for almost as long as I could remember. In many ways, I did submit to him my heart and my love, but as far as submitting to him as a slave? Never! Again something that has to be looked at from different angles. The first one being, that it is not my nature. I am independent, maybe quietly so, but independent none the less, and to submit to anyone would destroy that part of me, that makes me who I am. That part of me that is free. Free to love unconditionally, and not because it is expected because I am a slave. It would rob the soul and spirit of Cana. I am not too sure he understood that exactly, but he accepted it as how I felt on the matter.
Another angle at looking at this, is that I do not think Tayco would have wanted me to submit. He loved that part of me that is me. When he claimed me, he told me that it was because he loved me, and that through time, I had stayed true to myself, who I was and what I was. I had never tried to change to be what I thought he wanted as some did. I had stayed Cana, waited patiently, and lived my life. Being true to myself, is very important to me. It is the same with Lochlan. He fell in love with me for who and what I am. I am a woman that has been blessed with the love of two good men that have accepted me as who I am, and both seem to find joy and comfort in it.
Since my talk with Fonce, I have brought up memories of a night long ago. The girl pariah and I had came upon a man camped on the plains and when we returned to camp had told Bo and some of the other warriors about it. A few nights later, Sef and Lone had taken me on a raid to his camp,but that is another story, for another time. The result of it, was that we took his bosk and his wagons.
A few days later, Tayco had gone to talk again to the man. Traveling with him was his niece, or a woman that he said was his niece. He offered her to Tayco in exchange for one of his wagons back. Odd, don't you think? As that evening progressed we took the woman back to camp. I will never forget her. She was strong, independent and true to herself. Time and time again, Tayco tried to get her to submit, she would not. She defied him at every turn. As a last resort, he made small cuts on her arms and neck by the kaiila pens, and told her that if she did not submit freely, he would turn the kaiila loose on her. Up until the very end, she held her head high, and refused. She died that night, free. In a way, it saddened both of us, but we came away with respect for the woman.
I can still remember standing there, Tayco nodding then looking at me and saying that the woman died an honorable death, because she would not submit to being something that she was not. I like to think that I would be that brave if given the same choice. That I would be able to remain true to who I am until the death. And because of that night, I know that Tayco would have never have asked me to submit to him, nor would I offer to do it freely. For to do so, I would be denying who I am.
Now does this mean that all women are this way? No. Each of us are different, with different needs, desires and paths to happiness. Mine just does not run the route of a collar.
He was very serious when he asked if I thought he would destroy any woman that was his personal slave? Skies, where did the man come up with all of these questions? It was hard to answer this. It would depend on the woman, I think. It would depend on how obsessive she was, and whether or not she could realize that he was not hers alone. I see slaves that do this, and to be honest, I do not understand it. They are slaves, pure and simple. They live and die at the whim of the free. And a personal slave to him would be no different.
Fonce is a complicated man, maybe that is why I enjoy our talks, even when the subject matter becomes a bit intense. I always try to be completely honest with him with my thoughts. I think that is what friends do, and he is my friend, so this time was no different. I told him that I did not think he was ready for the unconditional love that a personal slave might have for him. I think this shocked him in a way, and he pressed me to explain. How do you tell someone that they are not ready to love another, until they can completely take down all the barriers and stand with a naked soul? He holds back, and as long as he does, he will not know love. But that is my opinion, and we all know what is said about opinions.
All in all, I enjoyed the talk, as I always do. I am comfortable with him, and him with me, and that is a good feeling. I think of him as a brother, but most importantly, I think of him as a friend.
Now, I wonder how much trouble I would get into if I stole that kite?
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